On Redemption

[navarro]

although you should keep in mind that fred rogers was a staunch christian but i believe the values he taught were considerably closer to the teachings of christ than those of far too many of his followers.

[anon35121463]

Currently zero chances. You gotta earn it. Been fucked over too many times to let too many people in.

[anon95548275]

… not why, nor because of whom.

This criteria doesn’t work for me. “Why” and “because of whom” is how we set those guardrails. Some random Boing Boing user isn’t going to get anywhere near the amount of leniency an IRL friend will get. Someone sharing a Dilbert cartoon is going to get more lenience than someone who talks like they fell out of an MRA subreddit.

[Melizmatic]

@SpunkyTWS

How many chances do you give someone?

In general?

I give two chances, max; and that’s often only when I’m sufficiently emotionally invested in someone or something that I genuinely feel is worth my while.

Nobody gets a third opportunity to screw me over; life is just too short.

And what would make me break that rule?

I guess I’ll cross that bridge if I ever come it.

[popobawa4u]

I think it’s more fair to deal with the principles that the personalities. So instead of liking or trusting some people more than others, I dispense with identity in favor of “you are what you do”. But impersonality can be tricky. It can easily be argued that it is more functionally sociable because it is more fair. But what do you do if the people around you socialize more based upon informal likes and personal attachments? It could be seen as essentially a matter of affinity versus duty. Not duty towards anyone specifically, but civic responsibility. In daily life this can have the effect of a clash of very different notions of what respect means! And I do not have any easy answers for how to reconcile this.

So I don’t see interactions in terms of redemption, as such. But rather in terms of what works. Whether an observation seems accurate or a solution workable really has little connection to the personality it seems to originate from. People are important, and ideas are important, but the connections between people and ideas are rather complex and not easily defined.

I tend to have a nearly infinite amount of patience for a person, but I see them as each having a lot of responsibility for managing the expectations of and relationships with each other. Having patience for a person does not mean automatic acceptance of whatever they may have been socialized into, so it can be, quite literally “disillusioning”. And I hope that others reciprocate and treat me with that same respect.