Personalized cum and vag rags

I guess even the classics need an update sometimes:

An elderly gentleman and his caregiver visit the old man’s primary care doctor.
“Today we’re going to need semen, urine, and stool samples,” says the doctor.
“What was that? What did they say?” asks the elderly gentleman.
“Just give ‘em your underwear disgusting hand towel, pops,” says the caregiver.