Proven techniques to stop a toddler from crying

I dunno. Might have been useful to see what happened immediately after every sudden cut to black. Teaching your kid to do little tricks, and then having them trot out those tricks when they’re kinda upset? Sure, if it works at all, it might distract from the current problem for a few seconds, or maybe it distracts her long enough to make her completely forget WTF she was so upset about in the first place. The way the video’s edited, we’ll never know.

Still, I can’t help but put myself in her head and think, “Why are you asking me to perform, Daddy? I’m not your goddamned trained pet monkey!”