When you’re finally out of luck, go see Cal!
If you’re gonna kick the bucket, go see Cal!
For your funeral procession,
Save on limos without question,
Go see Cal, go see Cal, go see Cal!
If you’re shufflin’ off this earth, go see Cal!
Find out what your trade-in’s worth, go see Cal!
Before your final breath is drawn,
For your ride to Forest Lawn,
Go see Cal, go see Cal, go see Cal!
If you’re goin’ straight to Hell, go see Cal!
We have handbaskets we can sell, go see Cal!
If you’re goin’ to meet Satan,
Probably shouldn’t keep him waitin’,
Go see Cal, go see Cal, go see Cal!
When you finally meet your fate, go see Cal!
Headed to the pearly gates, go see Cal!
Muslims, Buddhists, Christians, Jews,
Atheists need hearses too,
Everyone croaks, even you, go see Cal!
