Needs more @pesco - headline typo.
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It it “tell him he actually won the 2020 presidential election”?
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“You’re only supposed to give them liquor if they have the croup! … Or colic, or the jimmy legs, or
-Malory Archer
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That’s swaddling, basically! Which works a charm for most babies, even when nothing else does.
ETA:
Fold the first part over the right arm: “Snug”
Fold up from the bottom: “as a bug”
Fold over the left arm and tuck: “in a rug”
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Whispering was always my most successful move. Not sure why, but it always got their attention and distracted from whatever was causing the tears (after all of the obvious issues were checked).
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Wouldn’t it have been easier to copy and paste the Guardian’s correct headline than to re-type it?
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Rocking chair
and if (child = theBoy) then “The Seekers - Morningtown ride”, else “Extreme - more than words”
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well, i was crying… all good now. thanks!
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Username checks out.
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Wow! My wife and I uses to sing this and the Bonanza theme song to our babies. Worked like a charm!
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My husband walked my niece up and down my sister’s stairs for 45 minutes. He discovered that the only time she stopped crying was when he was either climbing the stairs or walking down the stairs. Walking around and jiggling her did nothing.
At three months of age, she totally had his number.
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A tablespoon of rye
works every time.
First they are stunned
into silence,
and then they sleep,
dreaming of the bar fights
and prostitutes
they had
in their yet unfaded
prior lives.
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Strap 'em into the car baby seat and drive around for two hours in frantic desperation and self-disgust at your lousy parenting skills, surely? Always worked for me.
Of course, they usually wake up when you get back home…
(Best years of my life though, still)
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It’s gin, isn’t it?
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Yeah, it’s hard to get rid of the remains from the adhesive without leaving any traces. Or so I’m told, anyway…
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And thus began her life as an illustrious personal trainer. 
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QED.
Ok, yeah, that’s fair. Vet Wrap, however, doesn’t leave an adhesive. (To be clear, while I do speak from experience, none of it is with babies.)
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