I don’t see it either as mere masturbation aid or just another kink. Nor would I see any point in jealously toward an unconscious machine. My issue is that it’s an attempt to create an entire sexual partner that has no will of its own. That the sexbots/dolls are still unrealistic farcical parodies is sort of beside the point, which is that the goal is to create something indistinguishable from an actual human sexual partner save that it cannot disobey the owner, not so much a virtual toy as a virtual sex slave. And the key difference from S&M is that the relationship is neither consensual nor non-consensual because there’s no actual person there to consent to the role.
You raise a good point about virtual reality, which will likely advance faster and be more widely available for the simple reason that software is cheaper to distribute than hardware. Or we could invoke the ultimate fictional extrapolation of both, the holodeck. In any case, my judgement would be based on whether it was an substitute sex slave or merely a sex toy, and the main difference is largely down to intent. Intent can get murky, but I think it’s crystal clear with regard to these attempts to create as realistic a sexbot as possible.
Finally, let me be clear that I’m not saying it’s unethical to use a sexbot - though it’s arguably unethical to allow little kids to play with it - only that it’s creepy to me and would factor into my character judgement of anyone with whom I was considering an intimate relationship. Some people feel the same way about porn, or masturbation aids, or BDSM, or Boba Fett cosplay. And they, like everyone, deserve the right to choose the criteria by which they accept invitations to intimacy, even if the rest of us disagree with it.
I’d be opposed to the subjugation of conscious AI for any reason, but we are fortunately still a ways off from that if we can accomplish it at all.
