Ten worst opening lines in novels

Reading Bulwer-Lytton is like watching Ed Wood – bad but hilarious.

Are books from the Bible permitted?

“The words of Jeremiah the son of Hilkiah, of the priests that were in Anathoth in the land of Benjamin: To whom the word of the LORD came in the days of Josiah the son of Amon king of Judah, in the thirteenth year of his reign.”

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Criticism at its finest.

You’re missing out on “Vril: The Power Of The Coming Race” if you discount Bulwer-Lytton wholesale.

“It was like so, but wasn’t.”

—Richard Powers, Galatea 2.2

(Fun fact: Galatea 2.2 alternate title was “Oh my God Becky” which is actually part one in the epic Powers Trilogy, swiftly follwed by the acclaimed “I Can’t Even” and the concluding tour de force “Wipe That Face Off Your Head Bitch”)

I know Scalzi is messing around, but it has become a peeve of mine when an author’s first book is already laden with the title of the “epic saga” it is a part of. I keep skipping over titles while browsing the Kindle store because I’ve come to loathe seeing “Guy With a Sword (STAB EVERYTHING SAGA VOLUME ONE)”.

Also goes for people who unnecessarily subtitle their novels with “: A Novel”

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