Ask. And hope they’re willing to answer honestly.
My sense of humor leans heavily toward the sardonic. I’ve learned that I have to tone that down online since – lacking tone-of-voice cues – it’s too easily misunderstood as serious rather than satiric, or as directed at an individual rather than an idea. Careful writing can manage some of that, but not everyone has or is willing to exercise that level of writing (or reading) skill, so when in doubt I either avoid it, flag it, or abandon subtlety and go too broad to be taken seriously.
The second half, of course, covers driving trollies, “let’s you and him fight”, and similar provocations of lesser degree. Hopefully most folks will admit if they’re taking a polarized stance that they don’t actually believe simply for the sake of stimulating discussion (I’ve been known to do that, though I don’t think I’ve done it here on BB), but you have to be prepared to deal with the fact that some are just making trouble and recognize when discussion with them is of no benefit except to feed their ego.
Welcome to the internet and Endless September…
