Wow, thanks for sharing. Abuse and trauma are generational, so good on you for doing what you can to break the cycle, but I really hear you when you say
So many people, both men and women, have been worked to the bone simply to provide a better life than the one they knew. Then the frustration and exhaustion kicks in and they end up replicating the same trauma their parents inflicted on them. It takes a tremendous amount of will, empathy and perspective to overcome generational trauma and even then we are compelled to live out some of our trauma on those we love as we work through it. The hope is that love, empathy and plenty of therapy win out, but it’s never easy.
Even if it wasn’t a full resolution, I’m glad you had the opportunity to be with your father in that moment of vulnerability, as tragic as it must have been. I still struggle with holding my father in a balanced perspective and have tried my best (with strong prodding from my therapist) to see him as the same fragile, unique human I try to see my kids as every day. It’s never easy and I wish you the best. 
