This couple's business uses more water than all homes in Los Angeles combined

I never actually paraphrased what you wrote. Seriously, go back and read it again.

Given that, maybe you’re not the best person to be lecturing me about reading comprehension.

Your failure to provide a reasonable alternate interpretation leads me to the conclusion that you really were telling everyone to STFU. Other people got the same interpretation. I quoted all your words and none of them appreciably change the meaning. The only imperative – the only request, injunction, exhortion, or command in your statement was for everyone to STFU. There was a conditional on that – people must STFU if they don’t meet your standards of discourse. But since you didn’t state your standards of discourse (you told people what not to do, but you didn’t provide a target), that conditional can’t really change the meaning of the injunction.

With that I’m done. This is a moderation disaster. Sorry in advance @Falcor.

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