yeah it is hard to understand.
maybe it’s just another kind of example of how trans-ness isn’t ideological. it’s just a fact about one’s body. so anybody can be trans. people who were raised conservative too.
as for why people can’t reject that culture? maybe a bad analogy might be a person who has a pattern of abusive relationships. it’s what they know, and what feels “comfortable” to them, even though it’s harmful and destructive
or maybe it would have been easier for her to find her own kind of trans community if there wasn’t so much hate in her rural roots. which definitely is the whole point of the hate: to keep people hidden and fragmented, toeing the line 
eta:
^ yeah all this.
( words are inadequate, but i’m really glad you were able to break away from your family and find your own way to a happy, healthy place. that **** is hard. )
