Trump lost the 'alpha male handshake' game on his global charm offensive tour. Sad!

Maybe you could lightly tongue-flick both cheeks, very subtly, so no one else would notice, then lean in for the mouth. With any luck he would be terrified by then and something awesome would happen.

Extremely repulsive? Makes it morally objectionable to kiss any other human being for at least a week afterwards? Yes, but maybe worth it.

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