More than five words is long-winded in your mind, is it? And your complaint isn’t with someone being verbose, but with their being verbose combined with being critical of something? How odd.
What would you suggest instead? Reducing any criticisms I might wish to offer to a scant five words? There’s not much you can say in only five words, and if I’m going to offer criticism, I at least want to be thorough and explain my criticism clearly and fairly.
It’s hardly my concern if you do not find my commentary witty, pithy, or punchy enough for your personal tastes. I’m not here to entertain you with snappy one liners, and what I do have to say is well said - you have said as much yourself. Consequently I do not feel obliged to change my writing to suit your whims, particularly at the expense of clarity of thought or precision of argumentation.