Video: Jeff Koons, steel balloon animals, the Pink Panther, and Scarlett Johansson

What saddens me is he’s acquired so many wealthy patrons, he can’t not unload the overpriced work product that churns out of his factory. And with all that shitty art in wealthy people’s houses, in front of corporate plazas, and occupying space in museums, people are deluded into calling him a “great” artist. It will take centuries for his insipid star to dim-- and, barring advances in telechrony or hibernation technology, I simply don’t have the time to wait him out.

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