Boy, does this sound familiar. We went through the same damned thing before I submitted the paperwork in 4th grade. The lunch and recess monitors were the worst. The constant unwanted negative attention did terrible things to our son’s self esteem, too.
No one solution is going to work for every family, and being you kid’s best advocate is very important when battling BS at school. Talk to your pediatrician to find out what resources are available in your area. Child psychiatrists are few and far between, pediatricians are aware of this and the good ones are doing what they can to hfill that void.