A friend of mine has a kiddo who has ADHD and is on the spectrum. Smart little guy, but he’s struggled in school. They managed to get him into a middle school that is specifically designed for kids on the spectrum, and it seems like it’s made a world of difference. For the most part, he’s had a much better time at this school and more effectively able to get his work done and be happier doing it.
Schools not being safe spaces for all kids is not an unsolvable problem. It’s just a problem that too many people don’t want to solve. I suspect that if we made schools that worked for kids with ADHD, were on the spectrum, or the like, those same schools would work for all kids.