Easily googled consultant joke:
A sheep farmer is tending his flock when a city slicker rolls up in his luxury automobile, hops out and asks, “Hey, if I tell you exactly how many sheep you have, can I have one?” The farmer nods, so the city slicker opens his laptop, calls up some satellite photos, runs some algorithms, and announces, “You have 1,432 sheep.”
Impressed, the farmer says, “You’re right. Go ahead and take one.” So the city slicker loads one of the animals into the backseat of the car. “Now,” says the farmer, “I’ll bet all my sheep against your car that I can tell you what you do for a living.”
A gaming sort, the city slicker says, “Sure.”
“You’re a consultant,” says the farmer.
“Wow!” says the consultant. “How’d you know?”
“You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don’t know crap about my business…"
“…Now give me back my dog!”
