Let me give you my personal experience. In my workplace, there are a lot of new Canadians (maybe 80-90%) and, no surprise, a significant number of them are vastly more socially conservative than the typical native born that I interact with (urban liberal).
When I hear homophobic or anti-semitic comments that I haven’t heard since the 1980’s, sure, I could attack their religion (which is core to their identity). But would that likely make them sympathetic?
No.
Instead, I go after the tactics. People want to be “Canadian”, but not give up their core beliefs. So instead, you subtly point out how it’s not very Canadian to voice those beliefs. And oddly enough, they don’t want to be “un-Canadian”.
And all is said with a little concern, and no condemnation (it’s more a little bit of advice about Canadian workplace norms).
And no surprise, there’s a lot less of it in the lunch-room.
I don’t attack their homophobia or their racism. I just try to (subtly) make them embarrassed to act on it.
Will it change their mind? Probably not. (Well, the subconscious desire to avoid low-status behaviour does erode those noxious beliefs a little.) But it makes it much harder to pass it on to the kids. And it means the workplace is not nearly as hostile.
(Let me make it clear that despite the occasional noxious sentiment, I never saw it influence personal actions. The whole “no, the people I know are fine, it’s the group I can’t stand” is still bizarre to me, but rules a lot of human behaviour.)
Anyway, I try to use roughly the same tactics I saw used on racism around here. 30 years ago, were you considered evil for being racist? Not really. But you were considered declasse. Which shut up a lot of the open racism and made it much harder to transmit the virus to their children. (After all, who wants their children to be social outcasts?)
Change takes place over decades.
So, I will condemn the open expressions of racism, sexism, etc., but when dealing with low-engagement racists, sexists, etc., I think the long game is much more likely to be successful. (And yes, the ‘low-engagement’ part is key. High-engagement has to be addressed directly and forcefully.)
(And yes, I am aware of the suffering that not fighting intolerance tooth and nail occurs right now. Every policy I choose has victims. But as perhaps 1% of the world shares my liberal beliefs, in a diverse, democratic world, I lose as soon as battle-lines exist. I’ve got to win without the other side ever being aware I am fighting a war.)
