Why we are unaware that we lack the skill to tell how unskilled and unaware we are

boing
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That was it!

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So, uh, what do on and off-key, pitch, tone, and note actually mean anyway?

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Yup, one of the reasons automatic thoughts of the negative persuasion are so hard to defeat is the immense amount of truth in them, the trick is realizing that it doesn’t have to be that way, along with a host of other tricks. Evidence often fails to negate the automatic thought & exposes the limits of basic CBT processes.

It’s why even ppl who think they are smart or who are smart still need assistance “getting” CBT, because they can too easily defeat their own arguments. Outside perspectives are totally necessary until the subject gets a handle on it.

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Doubt is good, its when you’re sure (And can’t even fathom you might be wrong) that you get into trouble.

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Great way of putting it!

I sing in a community chorus and whenever I talk about it with friends, they tell me I’m braver than David facing Goliath and must be significantly better at singing than most people (especially them)…but really, as long as you can match the pitch of everyone singing around you it’s not scary at all. I’m not doing a solo performance at Carnegie Hall, so what’s to worry about? It’s OK to be good enough when you’re doing something you like; everyone doesn’t have to be astonishingly spectacular. And really, everyone else is paying attention to their own efforts…they’re not wasting time judging you.

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You can experiment yourself. Take Audacity or other audio recorder/editor. Sing the same thing several times, to several identical-ish tracks. Optionally tweak the spaces/vowels in the editor to match the syllable starts/ends. Pan the tracks across the left-right to different positions.

The result will surprisingly well mask the off-key of a single-track singing. You can make a pretty good track by mixing several just-so-so ones this way. Pretty similar to choir singing, I’d say. (I did the former, not the latter.)

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Children raised in an abusive environment actually are more attuned to other people’s feelings. That is not a superpower or whatever, it is something that helps them avoid being hit (again).
They often grow up to be ‘people-pleasers’, valuing other people’s feelings higher than their own. They are the ones who do their utmost to keep the peace when there’s a conflict.

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