Your reaction when you think you're 79, but you're really 98: 'Holy f*ck!'

Thanfully, I’m precocious: I’m already getting senile. A while back I made a comment about being 35 and too old for this shit (whatever it was at the time). My wife had to remind me I was 33. “I am? Well… great!” It was like finding a $5 bill I’d forgotten about in a pair pants.

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