It’s in the body of the linked article: “General rule of thumb: 99 percent of the clientele should be Asian. If you see groups of old Asian women there, that’s a very, very good sign.”
I endorse this 100%.
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Not knowing the difference between Japanese, Korean, Chinese, and “Asian” sounds a bit racist, no?
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By far the best teriyaki in the Seattle area is run by a Korean family. But that doesn’t say anything because almost all the teriyaki places in the Seattle area are run by Koreans. (Sushiya in downtown Bellevue)
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Quite often I have found that Italian restaurants are owned and operated by people of Greek descent. Somebody explained to me that was because in Greece, Pizza is fancy, so they take it more seriously.
There is a local Chinese place that has two menus. One of the standard, pedestrian Americanized Chinese fare, and one of more authentic and interesting food. You have to ASK for the second menu, at least if you are white.
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Can confirm that the Chinese section is spot-on, especially:
The pork and shrimp will arrive right away, but it takes an hour to get a glass of water.
and in the bad signs section:
The waitstaff…(snip)…says things like “Thank you,” “Nice to see you,” or “Did you leave room for dessert?”
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That’s not a bad metric.
Reminds me of when my wife and I were visiting family in Maui and we asked about finding a good place for sushi. We walked in, saw we were the only white people there, and the food did not disappoint.
I assumed most Chinese places did that.
Of course, the second menu is useless to me because I don’t speak Chinese. I’d point at something at random, but food allergies.
Then there was the time recently when I sat down next to a random Chinese person and asked what he was eating, and then ordered it once I confirmed it didn’t have anything that would kill me. It wasn’t on the white people menu, and may not have been on the Chinese menu either.
It was tripe. Doesn’t matter, had good Chinese food.
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Also. She’s a comedian. The entire thing is sort of. A joke.
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When in Austin:
I’ve been in places where I noticed what someone else was eating, and thought to myself, “that doesn’t look like anything described on the menu. I’m a little jealous.”
See also: Ethiopian
Saw this when I walked past a new restaurant a few days ago. This, to me, just seemed like a dare (much like the “Stinky Tofu” at another place down the street). (Still haven’t been to either.)
Though I’ll have to save my pennies and dimes for this one:
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But behind every joke there’s some truth.
Except that Bavarian cream pie joke. There’s no truth to that. Nobody with a terminal illness goes from the United States to Europe for a piece of Bavarian cream pie and then when they get there and they don’t have it he says, ‘Ah, I’ll just have some coffee.’ There’s no truth to that.
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Here’s a local for me: Wonky, ahem 'scuse me, Won-kei in London Soho Chinatown. Meets ethnic diner quota. Reviews include many complaints about waiters plonking down food, and having to share tables with strangers. Not high cuisine but fills the cracks.
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Fun Sponge Alert!
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Is the restaurant popular with the people who are actually from that particular demographic?
In Mississauga we can go one step further. If my wife and I walk in the door and are met with a blank “now what do we do?” stare from the folks at the counter because we’re the only people not from that demographic who have darkened the door in the past year… 
food is likely good but the service can go either way. 
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No warning needed for MSG. It’s harmless. I cook with it frequently.
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I used a 2 step test.
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How many white people in the room. If many see step two.
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How many of those white people are wearing Chef’s whites or dishwasher shirts?
The best Asian restaurants are routinely those where the only white people on hand are restaurant people.
The same method can be applied to all “ethnic” restaurants.
Once upon a time most “authentic” Chinese restaurants did this. But American Chinese places never really have. Some of them make traditional Chinese dishes off menu though, usually for staff.
Nobody would serve bad food for sweety old ladies.
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My Rule for Japanese Restaurants:
- It’s not sushi.
That’s not to say that there aren’t excellent sushi restaurants out there, but growing up with Japanese grandparents living with us, we almost never ate sushi. Maybe at New Years, or for some other special occasion, but day to day food that my grandmother helped prepare couldn’t be further from it.
Coming across a Japanese “Home cooking” restaurant is as rare as hen’s teeth, and sadly they don’t always seem to last too long unless they also offer sushi and teriyaki everything as the mainstays that are popular.
It’d be like if every Italian restaurant out there only served spaghetti with meatballs in a marinara…
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That assumes you want the real thing. I’ve eaten at such restaurants with Chinese friends and the food is way too, uhm, exotic for my taste. There is lots of authentic cuisine that I’m just not into. The cliche of Americans not wanting the “real” thing is sometimes true.
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As with anything, I think it depends on the presence of decent sized Japanese/Japanese American community. Most places I’ve been to “Japanese Restaurant” means chain teriyaki and americanized sushi.
NYC has a decent sized Japanese community and there a bunch of different sorts of Japanese restaurants that are pretty popular. Though bolstered by the fact that certain types of Japanese food are pretty trendy, a lot of the better ones were opened to cater to Japanese folks. I dunno about Japanese home cooking, but there are (or were) even some American locations of Japanese chains.
You go to Philly there’s not much of a Japanese community, and the Japanese restaurants are either teriyaki/cheap sushi or Vietnamese owned Ramen bars. Discounting Morimoto. But Philly has crazy balls Filipino food that NYC doesn’t. Cause NYC doesn’t have the same critical mass of Filipinos.
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