Canadian MPs improvised spears to fight off shooter while PM Harper hid in the closet


#1

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#2

I’d venture the public announcement that the PM had left the building was a deliberate deception tactic. In the age of instant media and smart phones, the assailant(s) could be expected to keep up-to-date on any relevant info getting out.


#3

Can we now get them to use said spears to fight off Harper?


#4

I think you need garlic and a holy symbol… and possibly a sprig of Dickbane.


#5

yeah possible as a disinfo tactic to keep the Pm safe


#6

Either the MP’s become more pro gun or they get armed security officers


#7

“Someone knew there was a closet there so they stuck him in there,”

I don’t know anything about country leader security (well, outside what I’ve seen in the movies) but is it not a little disturbing that it appears they didn’t at the very least have various contingency plans for this sort of situation? I’m not for one minute saying that this was “Plan A” and obviously it’s an unprecedented, frightening, dangerous situation but are they genuinely saying that Plan B/C/Z/whatever was “we’ll wing it if it ever happens”?


#8

Isn’t that the very essence of crisis planning by most of the governments?


#9

Harper was shoved into a closet while the MP’s armed themselves with spears? If only the MP’s shoved the spears into Harper…


#10

From the photo, Canada looks a bit warmer than I would have expected for this time of year.


#11

I absolutely need to know more! What is this “dickbane,” and how can I cultivate it?


#12

Of course!!!

You can see negotiations for the hiring of a security company now:

“So we’re offering a comprehensive, 21st century protection plan. The latest hi-tech armoury in the hands of the modern highly trained elite - well-versed in the psychologies and tactics of any possible oppon…”

“I’ll stop you there. We do the thinking round here. We basically just need you to look intimidating in shades.”


#13

No, “Plan A” was the closet, and it worked perfectly.
Edited to say: Canada, eh?


#14

As a fully time-served 80s teenager, I am qualified to glower and wear mirrorshades indoors.


#15

The real hero of this whole tragic attack on Parliament was Sergeant-at-Arms Kevin Vickers who took down the shooter with his sidearm (not with his ceremonial mace). The latest accounts emphasize how incredibly bad-ass his actions were, though I’m sure he’d never describe them as such.


#16


#17

Plan A was let the male models look badass and then have the really dangerous guy wear a funny hat. Works every time.


#18

Had their government not been so anti-science, perhaps they could have instead fashioned light sabres from the materials at hand. But no, they had to go and limit themselves to prehistoric weaponry.


#19

The problem with having an actual Plan A-Z is that it limits you to only a few possible scenarios. By not having a plan, and ‘winging it’, fast, creative thinking is in play.


#20

This is why Canadians don’t really need guns. When push comes to shove, they will improvise spears.