âWhistling Penisâ
Thatâs the name of my garage punk band!
Gosh, itâs almost like there arenât any gray areas like mutual intoxication.
All the awareness in the world is worthless for you when you wonât get laid anyway.
If youâre too drunk to ask, and your intended partner is too drunk to answer?
Thatâs a no.
Great idea!
Is it wrong that I want to see the consensual versions???
Putting voice chips in sex toys will be the ruin of the industry.
Damn Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.
life dont talk to me about life,race you to milliways?
I think that if you are getting consent from each disembodied, talking erogenous zone you are likely both way too drunk for it to count as consentâŚ
I am disappoint by the absence of a toothbrush moustache.
Yeah, the gatekeeper model of consent is problematic. We should see the âmaleâ parts asking first before touching, instead of having to have the âfemaleâ parts be violated before saying no.
I think the behavior being shown is supposed to model that a literal ânoâ is not required to show lack of consent.
But, on the other hand, the naked boob squeezing could be construed to mean that the way to check for consent is to grope and proceed if there is no objection.
Exactly.
Consent should look like using your words before doing anything. I think itâd be a more powerful campaign by showing the hands/dinguses/etc be all âEh?â and the boob/vulvas/etc be like âYeeeah!â
I just donât get this. I have never had anything remotely close to a situation where consent was a question. But Iâve read encounters, including ones where women just basically âgive upâ and let it happen. I get encounters like this happen, I just donât understand how guys do it. What the fuck are they thinking? If she isnât all over you too, then move on to someone who is. Iâd rather have alone time than someone who isnât into it, so I canât even imagine actually pressing the issue.
I think @Foggen is probably referring to instances where both (or all) participants are still able to ask and answer, but intoxicated enough to be exercising impaired judgements one or both may regret when sober. My response is the same as deciding whether your too intoxicated to do any other activity, if youâre not sure, wait until your sober enough to be sure.
But @Foggenâs criticism has a point, these videos are only about consent, not meaningful consent. Which would be fine, except that their catchphrase consent is simple ignores the fact that while a no is never a yes, a yes may sometimes still not be consent. On the other hand, these videos seem to be aimed at people who try to shag other people without asking. On the gripping hand, I think most people who ignore no for an answer know perfectly well what theyâre doing and just donât care because they know most rape goes unreported and theyâre sociopaths.
Never whistle while youâre pissing. If you do, seek medical advice.
Bluntly, if it acts like a sociopath, itâs a sociopath. Itâs not that most guys are rapists, but that most rapists are serial sexual predators and skilled manipulators who are never stopped or called to account for their crimes. I can virtually guarantee you that if you have any number of women in your life, at least one (and probably more) have been the victims of these predators, and in all likelihood one has probably been raped at some point. Rape statistics are so hard for non-predators to accept because they mean people we know have been victims of this horrific crime. But that very disbelief in its prevalence helps hide it out of sight, as does good people not wanting to know about it.
I promise you also that women talk about these things with other women, friends, sisters, sometimes mothers, far more than they talk about it with their male friends, brothers, fathers, allowing most good men to live in a bubble of ignorance. If you wonder why, just consider how angry, sad, depressed and/or vengeful youâd feel hearing about these things from the women you care about. They donât share it with you because they donât want to force you to deal with those same emotions theyâre feeling. Not just altrustically, but because what most victims want is emotional support and compassion, not to be avenged to sate a male need to protect. They know a lot of men will, without realizing it, have a response thatâs far more about them than her, and thatâs the last thing she wants to deal with. They share it with other women because, although they donât want them to suffer either, they know those women have probably experienced something similar already and certainly know its part of the daily threat in their world.
Additionally, women are reluctant to talk about sex with most men, and that only goes more so with a sex crime.
And finally, thereâs a strong desire, though not necessarily healthy from a mental wellness standpoint and certainly not good for public safety, to simply bury a horrible memory that ongoing concern or involving the police might entail revisiting the trauma again and again.
On top of all that, a lot of women blame themselves because they live in a world where theyâre constantly told to watch our for predators but those predators are rarely taken out of society. Itâs like living in a city with roving packs of dangerous animals no one ever makes a concerted effort to remove and people who can afford to often prefer to simply ignore. When someone who canât afford to ignore the danger gets attacked, she assumes (often correctly unfortunately) that sheâll be told it was her fault for not being more careful, not the cityâs fault for letting dangerous animals attack the vulnerable with impunity while looking the other way.
Add to this the impossibility of determining a universal ability to stay conscientious within the envelope of varying amounts of alcohol and you have some deeply troubling edge cases.
Should there be a âdrinking licenseâ where one is tested to asses oneâs ability to make rational choices based on oneâs alcohol/blood ratio?
Maybe some people should never drink? That seems draconian. How about no singles bars? The whole enterprise of such establishments seems to be centred around impairing judgement with the expectation of hooking up for sex.
What else impairs judgement in such a fashion? Head trauma? Can you consent with a concussion? I donât think so.
Maybe some kind of brain scan technology could be developed that provides insight to an individuals ability to consent? Would that negatively impact some people with brain trauma?
Shitâs complicated.
