Classy ransomware criminals set themselves apart with 24/7, Russian/English customer service

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/02/06/classy-ransomware-criminals-se.html

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Stockholm syndrome.

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That moment when you hope your employer’s customer support experience is as good as revolting criminal scum.

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…I don’t even.

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If you’re a high-volume user, I highly recommend their Gold Circle Concierge service. Not only do you get priority 24/7 service from a representative who works exclusively with a small list of clients, but the double CryptoPoints™ you earn means it pays for itself after the fifth or sixth ransom.

★★★★★, would absolutely get my hard drive encrypted again.

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They even got famous Australian band TISM to write their anthem.

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The downside here is the risk that the US cable companies may hire away all their staff to improve their customer support.

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Interesting. This is actually a better experience than dealing with Centrelink (Australia’s dole/social security) who’ve recently begun a demanding “overpayments” be returned posthaste with clusterfuck results.

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One of the first things that comes to mind: if their customer service is really that good, does that mean it’s possible that if you act like a sufficiently clueless, dumb-as-a-rock client from hell who is going to consume a lot of time that the support representative might better spend elsewhere, might one manage to get decryption without paying?

Some people would take that as a challenge.

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Just because they have customer service in Russian and English does not mean they are based in Russia. Could be a 400 lb guy sitting in a bed, or China. Just saying. Probably China.

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Thanks for the recommendation!

We know all too well that capitalism is organized crime, but it turns out that also organized crime is capitalism!

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You mean “Jyna”.

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It amazes me that this story uses “service” instead of “crime”, and “customer” rather than “victim”. Late stage capitalism has a way of blurring these distinctions, I know, but let’s not help legitimize this nonsense!

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It really is a bad idea for them to present themselves in this fashion. It drives investigatory agencies crazy and some of them are far, far more dangerous than others. If they can not prosecute them, I would not put it past some agencies to start eliminating them by what ever mean necessary.
Agencies that never ever work together across national boundaries, will pass off info so that others that can act, will act.

I just want to point out that this is also how effective interrogation works and why torture doesn’t. You don’t get the information/money from the target by being an asshole and making their life harder, you get it by building relationships, appearing to make sacrifices on their behalf (whether or not you actually are), and generally showing empathy.

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