All the stuff that I like is either boring or nerdy.
Not that I’d get on well with non-nerds anyway, so it’s all good.
9 Likes
The first rule of tautology club is the first rule of tautology club.
5 Likes
I don’t even have to work at that.
3 Likes
The recently closed tautology club is not accepting new members at this time.
9 Likes
If we were online dating right now, you would have just scored yourself some serious consideration.
4 Likes
I think the problem starts with you taking the comments in this topic as “jumping down your throat” to begin with.I haven’t seen anything here but people (mostly) trying to give sincere advice and criticism. How that’s getting translated into an attack on you is an internal dialogue you might want to have with yourself.
As for the “be yourself” thing: It’s not a meme. If you’re not being yourself then you’re lying about who you are. But you are 100% correct that perhaps “yourself” isn’t who you want to be. I consider people who have had relationships that ended so badly that they needed to take a long look at who they are as a result lucky, because it forced a level of self-reflection. Thankfully this happened for me very early on in life and I believe I became a better person for it.
I can’t speak as to whether or not you’ve had a similar situation, and I can’t even speak as to whether or not you’d benefit from that form of self-reflection, but if you believe that the issue is “probably” you, then you might want to consider taking some time to who you want to be, and work towards that goal, as opposed to looking at it as “not being yourself” or whatever. 
12 Likes
I’ve gotta say, I sympathise with @StrawBoss.
I spent a significant portion of my teens and twenties surrounded by men and women with whom I had absolutely nothing in common. I found it difficult to make small talk with anyone, male or female, and had convinced myself that most people I met were basically incompatible with me, in the sense that we had no common interests which we could talk about and no way of finding common ground.
I didn’t end up finding like-minded people of my own age with whom I could speak freely about the things that interested me and from whom I could learn interesting things until I had moved out of that environment and subsequently changed my social circle several times.
I think that many of the people who are being harshly critical in this thread have either been extremely fortunate and found themselves around like-minded people from the get-go, or have forgotten how fucking horrible it is to be in your early twenties and to be trying to make sense of the world.
@StrawBoss: My own personal take on this is that, yes; in your early twenties, most people that you meet will be wary of expressing an opinion, because everyone is trying so damn hard to fit in and be liked. Having an opinion or interests that you feel strongly about won’t win you many friends and it won’t win you many dates, either.
If dates are what you think you want, make yourself as jovial and shallow as everyone else. You might get laid occasionally (which can be fun) but I don’t think you will really enjoy it and you certainly won’t form any meaningful relationships out of it.
I think that the fact that you are giving this whole process any kind of conscious thought at all means that’s not what you are looking for. “Be yourself” is shit advice when you have nothing in common with those around you. The trick, though, is not trying to be someone else but trying to find people who are receptive to who you actually are.
My best guess is that you’re going to be miserable until you get discharged. Such is life though; if there is no one suitable around you, don’t try and shoehorn in an unsuitable person because you feel lonely. Once you leave, do your best to find people who don’t mock you because of the way that you speak or for the ideas that you have.
I went to university at 25 and, after a lifetime of thinking that I was somehow “different” to everyone else, met the first person in my life with whom I connected. We dated for a few years, broke up for a few years, and last year, got married at 33 and 35 respectively.
You’re not alone in the world and it will get better.
10 Likes
Hey, who are you calling a “weird trick”?!? I am right here, you know!
6 Likes
13 Likes
(It is hypnotic…)
3 Likes
I think very highly of my word play. You pwn me every. Time.
You know if we joined forces we could rule the world, right?
4 Likes
Maybe it is a topic which should be spun off on its own, but I think there need to be networks for radicals/militants/revolutionaries to get together which are distinct from usual dating services. How people meet and express their interests need not fit in with imperialist social structures which others take for granted. For example, in the bourgeois dating world, people often measure “security” or “stability” in terms of money and class, the willingness and “ability” to exploit or be exploited. Whereas some revolutionaries might consider those to factors to be serious liabilities.
2 Likes
You’re a cunning…never mind.
7 Likes
That isn’t a crazy idea. I mean, why not? If consent is given by people that can give consent, why not www.fiatmoneyisascamsingles.com?
…
I should go check GoDaddy.
6 Likes
Orator. The word you are looking for is orator.
8 Likes
LovelornLiberatorsdotcom!
RevolutionaryRomance!
Iconoclasmic!
4 Likes
I’ll extend that question a bit further (and make it more ontopic): With the internet allowing virtually every avenue of thought to be explored, but most discussion areas (think facebook/twitter/whatever, as opposed to here ) being essentially echo chambers where your mom is as likely to be watching as a perspective mate, where does one go to have conversations with like-minded thinkers, in the kind of environment where you might be able to eventually have a 1:1 conversation that transitions to meatspace?
There was a time, long ago, where chat programs like ICQ and the “free for chat” status didn’t mean creeps and dick pics, where online gaming communities could find more like-minded individuals and less gamergate-style trollies. That’s passed now, and instead we’re left with a few, very public, very generic locations for most online discussion to happen. I met my partner gaming, I don’t imagine that could happen as easily now as it did even five years ago. Other partners I met in subject-specific locales like IRC and Usenet, both helped to self-select participants with common interests, and both of which have now either disappeared or become such shadows of themselves they are no longer, generally, acceptable sources to find your average geek anymore.
Meatspace isn’t much better because most people are limited to work/school or the club/bar scene, or friends-of-friends none of which (with a possible small exception of specialized courses or something) are likely to give you a sampling of people with specific, like interests.
So, that’s my long-winded question. Where do you go if you want to narrow your pool from “most peeps” to “like-minded peeps”?
4 Likes
Postmodernlove.com!
Sugarsocialists.com
OKMarx.com
I am in the wrong business, this is an (shared) gold mine.
9 Likes
This is where we may have a minor disagreement. Meatspace is exactly where I go. It is the best environment. I have… Anxiety, to put it nicely… However the best relationships I have are directly from meeting people IRL.
1 Like
New thread plz
