Disney sued over massive wedgie

Originally published at: Disney sued over massive wedgie | Boing Boing


Awkward Oh No GIF by CBC

Wait What Instinct GIF by CBS

Sad Kristen Bell GIF


I’d be willing to bet that the line “hey honey, you in the mood for some consortium and services tonight?” has never gotten anyone laid.


The unholy union of “continual, enthusiastic consent” with “corporate legal-babble” that nobody asked for.


a second count, “loss of consortium,” relates to Emma McGuinness’ husband, Edward McGuinness.

This is based on Edward not getting marital relations, not on Emma not getting marital relations. I wonder whether that was because the couple and/or their lawyer don’t believe that there is value in a woman’s loss of her own pleasure. Or because they think that chances of receiving a higher settlement are better based on the perceived value of a man’s pleasure. Lie back and think of Disney.


Ow! Ow! Ow!


> McGuinness was sent to the hospital to repair “her gynecologic injuries by a specialist,” the lawsuit stated. She suffered “severe and permanent bodily injury including severe vaginal lacerations,” and her bowel protruded “through her abdominal wall,” resulting in a hernia.

Yikes. This is much, MUCH worse than “wedgie” would lead one to believe…


I’m trying to figure out how exactly this happened on a water slide. I mean, it seriously boggles the mind. Even the description in the article above leaves me shaking my head…

That said, a $50k lawsuit? I imagine that Disney will settle this immediately, if they haven’t done so already.


yeah right whatever GIF


Darn, I was hoping this was due to something Disney did to DeSantis.


According to Disney, people plummet down a near-vertical five-story drop. Riders go without a raft or a tube.

The complaint said riders can reach speeds approaching 40 miles per hour and before they go down the slide they are told to “cross their legs at the ankles.”

The lawsuit said in this woman’s case, when she went down the slide, near the end “her body lifted up, she [became] airborne, and she was slammed downward against The Slide – which increased the likelihood of her legs becoming uncrossed.”

The document said that and “her impact into the standing water at the bottom” caused a “painful wedgie” and immediate bleeding.

I’m no amusement park expert, but it seems like a combination of the equivalent of water hammer (basically fast-moving water in a confined space that comes to a sudden stop) and just plain old lateral impact (think about hitting a surface at an angle with sensitive bits of your body, and sliding across it. Now stop thinking that, because it’s horrible).


It’s 50k and they will want this to go away. In discovery, their own lawyers would likely cost them more than $50k… and they likely REALLY want this to go away. They tend to settle injury claims pretty quickly IIRC. Heck, the kid killed by an alligator did take about a month from the attack to presumed settlement, so maybe this will take a bit longer but Disney cares a bit more about their reputation than most companies… especially now that Chapek is gone.


Their lawyers are probably staff or on retainer. That doesn’t cost them anything additional.


I know we live in a click-baity world, but maybe if your injury required - checks notes - “repair of gynecologic injuries.”, and had a “full thickness laceration causing Plaintiff’s bowel to protrude through her abdominal wall, and damage to her internal organs”, one shouldn’t use the word “wedgie” in the headline.





Retainers are great and all, but don’t think that covers everything. They either have money on account waiting for something like this, or the clock starts running. Either way, they still pay the money, whether as an advanced retainer or not.

Disney will want this to go away and $50,000 is less than a day’s wage for Bob Eiger.

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Just look at the McDonald’s coffee lawsuit. It was literally just covering the medical cost that poor woman had after she spilled far too hot coffee on herself. They refused to settle it and went to court where they ended up paying far more.

Corporations are not really great at thinking about this kind of logically and they will spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to avoid paying out for something like this… They could of course, but then again, look at the recent strikes and how they refused to just give them a deal and lost billions of dollars as a result. All so Bob Iger doesn’t have to cut his compensation.


He’d have it before lunch.

Disney has a LOT of lawyers on staff. If you know what Team Disney is then you know the 4th floor is mostly lawyers. Disney don’t mess around with lawsuits. As I never worked for Disney on the west coast I can’t speak to the amount of lawyers but I’ll bet between the parks and entertainment stuff there’s a a bunch more.