Back in the olden days, executions were performed in public and were surrounded by an air of entertainment. Sort of a cheap, sick circus. Society decided that was yucky, so executions were moved indoors, with limited viewing. But the methods - electrocution, cyanide gas, hanging, firing squad - were still too yucky. So now we have executions in something resembling an operating room, with a cocktail of chemicals calculated to deliver death in short order with minimal yuckiness, out of sight and mind of just about everyone. Except that it isnât going as planned and now there are these inconvenient news stories about how a condemned man suffered from it.
Perhaps what is called for isnât a clean, quiet, pleasant way of executing prisoners. Perhaps what we as a people should do is bring executions back out into the flinching eye of the public in a way that recaptures the barbaric circus of yore. Maybe carry them out in a football stadium. Everyone who buys a ticket gets a large mirror. The condemned appears on stage, in the middle of the stadium and is given a microphone. They then attempt to plead for mercy, do a standup act, sing, dance, whatever they can to mollify the crowd. Any spectator who is not favorably disposed to the condemnedâs performance may vote by angling their mirror to direct a beam of sunlight onto the condemned. Once enough spectators beam their disapproval, the condemned runs for it, trying to evade the concentrated heat of ten thousand suns, as the crowd imprints the path of these evasions in a smouldering swath of scorched earth. Eventually, the ferocity of the sun claims the victim, and the crowd is treated to a near-instantaneous cremation, accompanied by a cloud of smoke that smells like a mixture of burned hair, bar-b-que, and a backed-up septic tank. This would enable us to gaze into our collective soul and see whether we approve of our collective barbarism. Our current preference of executions that are quiet, secret affairs is, arguably, even more barbaric.