Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/12/04/fake-delivery-spam-was-the-most-rampant-scam-of-2020.html
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My wife and I keep track of these for fun. Peak day a couple weeks ago we got 10 calls saying variations of (in a computer voice) “Your social security card will be suspended for suspicious activity.” Oh no! Someone is charging things to my SS card! 
Life has happened since and we have had to give up our game, but the number of spam calls exceed the number of real calls most days still.
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I got a lot of the fake delivery calls this year. They’re always easy to spot- overly alarming tone, language that UPS would never use, voice courtesy of Siri-from-2011, that sort of thing (also UPS will never call you anyway). I worry about the day the scammers get better at this and they aren’t so easy to spot.
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Here in the UK it’s DPD delivery phishing…
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The main scam that is dangled in front of me this year is the “Amazon suspended account”, followed by various “card issues” for things like Stripe, which I don’t even use.
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I’m surprised offers to “extend your vehicles warranTEE” isn’t on the chart, unless that’s lumped in with insurance. The odd time I do answer an unknown number it’s always for that. Funny thing is, I haven’t had a vehicle registered in my name since, checks notes … riffles through filebox … pulls out 2nd filebox … 2002.
I’m somewhat fortunate though that I moved out of the area code where my phone number was established. So those “local” call spoofs are easy to ignore.
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I feel like my cell number is at the top of the spam list, because it’s rare for me to find that a scam report has been made on the number in question until about a week later.
Plus it’s almost impossible to speak to a UPS employee to resolve your shipping problem at any time.
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I receive, on average, a call a day for one of these two things:
- A ‘free’ hotel stay at a famous name resort
- Extended warranty for my vehicle
The first ones I generally hang up on, because the scumbag on the other side of the line (if it ever gets that far) generally has no concept of “number is on the do not call list”, or they become verbally abusive.
The second ones I like playing with, generally either with a nonexistent make/model/year of ‘car’ (who here has a 1956 Vespa??) or “which one are you talking about, I’ve got 200 on the lot- you’ve reached a use car dealer” gag. I figure as long as I’m wasting their time, they aren’t harrassing anyone else. 
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I had a DPD parcel redelivery email earlier today, it does say that fees will be charged for redelivery, so that might be the vehicle for scamming money out of people.
Oh, and I had a weird one allegedly from the DVLA, the U.K. government driver and vehicle licensing agency, saying there were irregularities in my current profile and I had to update my profile to avoid termination of my drivers license, including payment details!
Yeah, riiiiiiiiight! #rollseyes
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I am lucky to have an out-of-state area code so ignore anything from there. The ones that come from NYC are invariably in Chinese and, I am told, relate to my visa/green card status. I wasn’t born yesterday, and when I was, it was in the U.S.
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Yeah, I need some kind of script, maybe short of:
Here there are no vehicles, there are no roads.
Okay I have a {very fancy Tata and 3 km driveway to a well}.
Your indignation sounds like it came from 2 states over!
Have you ever been indignant yourself?
I do want to change my card rate! It is 466669% and I want 466653% I need your tax ID and province so I can make direct payments.
[Album of choice. Something Voivod, Super Furry Animals…?]
Just hook up the modem again?
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I still have a fax machine which will kick in after the 5th ring if I don’t answer the phone.
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OMG WANT.
(In all seriousness, though, I’d probably get in lots and lots and lots of trouble for having one… )
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Yeah, even if you modified it to launch potatoes 
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