Giant Hogweed infestation in Virginia -- plant causes burns, blindness

[AnthonyI]

I’ve always found Umbellifers interesting. From dill, carrots, parsnips, and even poison hemlock, it’s a very exciting family of plants with a huge range of unique properties.

[anon29537550]

I got into some of this stuff last year, it was evil. Seriously did leave serious burns. I don’t use Round Up much, but this shit gets both barrels!!

[cjankelson]

@Medievalist

Roundup use is said to correlate with a number of public health problems, including the increasing incidence of autism and diabetes.

Please PLEASE tell us you’re being sarcastic. That is the worst misuse of “correlate” I’ve seen in years.

[cjankelson]

@Mister44

you end up with mutant Piranha that eat people.

What’s wrong with the way regular piranhas eat people, given a proper chance?

[Malarkey]

Great. Now I have something else to worry about besides Cory Stewart.

[Mister44]

Unless starving, piranha don’t typically attack very large (compared to them) creatures. You can swim with them.

But IIRC in the Piranha movies they like grew legs an other bizarreness.

[anon30760835]

@Lexisaurus

I think its other name, Poison Parsnip, is a pretty good band name, too

Also works for a vegan supervillain

[roomwithaview]

And I just learned that a third-degree burn can happen without charring!

[anon61221983]

Oh shit, poisonous kudzu? Time to move to an island…

[roomwithaview]

@Mister44

Unless starving, piranha don’t typically attack very large (compared to them) creatures. You can swim with them.

I’ve heard blood will cause a feeding frenzy. Ie. make sure you have no open wounds if swimming with them.

[anon48584343]

@anon61221983

Oh shit, poisonous kudzu? Time to move to an island…

[anon61221983]

Goat rentals for the win!

I wonder if they eat giant hogweed?

[anon48584343]

@anon61221983

I wonder if they eat giant hogweed?

Maybe. Better if they (grazing animals) have dark furry faces apparently.

https://www.conservationevidence.com/individual-study/351

I’m thinking that the critters might taste a bit spicy afterwards reducing the need to add curry paste or Thai peppers. Mmmmmm Mmmm Mmmmmm.

[Medievalist]

@cjankelson

Please PLEASE tell us you’re being sarcastic. That is the worst misuse of “correlate” I’ve seen in years.

I wasn’t trying to be sarcastic, I’m just a lousy writer. Sorry! I’ll go change it. EDIT: No, I can’t. Not only would it mess up the thread, I don’t know how to say it any other way.

note, I was trying to put some weasel-wording in there because I don’t trust any of the parties involved, neither Monsanto nor the people claiming knowledge of Roundup®-related public health threats. Although I’ll admit to having more confidence in the motives of the latter than the former.

@anon61221983

I wonder if they eat giant hogweed?

Sheep do, so I think goats would have no problem. But the Internets seem to be divided on this issue… one site says don’t let your milch goats eat it.

[Jorpho]

See also: New York man fights to keep his giant hogweed plants

Geez. What a piece of work.

Months after the control specialist’s first visit to his hogweed patch, a member of Costanza’s family developed vitiligo, a skin disorder marked by the absence of melanin, the pigment that gives color to skin and hair.

Costanza researched the disease. He learned that the sap of giant hogweed contains compounds, furocoumarins, that make skin so sensitive to sunlight that it burns. They also create an over-abundance of melanin.

He resolved to keep the plants intact on his property to provide a source of furocoumarins for study. “I don’t want to take away the potential for doing medical research,” Costanza said. […] Costanza said more study is needed — he suggested he just might do it himself — and his stand of giant hogweed could play a role.

I dearly want some medical professional to inform him that a) they have all the furocoumarins they need and b) he has neither the equipment nor the expertise to do even the slightest kind of meaningful medical “research” on his own. Unfortunately the professionals probably have much better things to do.

(In the meantime he’s probably received more than a few death threats by now.)

[ChuckV]

@Capltan

as sheep don’t seem to be particularly bothered by the toxins

I picture this meaning that while the sheep eat it, they keep thinking, “It burns! It burns!,” but being sheep they keep eating anyway.

Obviously a metaphor for something.

[Mister44]

@Medievalist

Sheep do, so I think goats would have no problem. But the Internets seem to be divided on this issue… one site says don’t let your milch goats eat it.

The Galapagos hire the New Zealand army to kill goats with machine guns from helicopters, and then employed “Judas goats” with trackers to help them snuff out the last remaining herds. So even something as innocent as goats can be bad news

[ocschwar]

This plant looks like it could be cut down to a stump, and then killed by applying roundup to the stump with a brush.

Definitely a good use here

[RedFury]

Hey, thanks! I’ve been using witchcraft, alchemy, and a big ol’ saw on a weed elm that keeps trying to grab my power line. It keeps growing back. But I’ve got plenty of salt around here…

[RedFury]

@Medievalist

Bindweed…one of several reasons I have a flamethrower

Same here. The previous owners thought they were ‘pretty’ and watered them.