You’re not alone, it’s basically like a big Lego kit.
A couple of my friends have an Ikea bed, which has survived several moves, but that might be because I set it up and took it apart every time. My friends know I’m quite happy dis/assembling Ikea furniture, so that’s the job they give me when I help them move.
So, for people who hate assembling flat-pack, just find that one friend who enjoys it, and let them do it for you 
Every piece of self-assembled furniture we own is too flimsy. We have a desk where the top is just screwed onto the two file cabinets. I am always afraid that it’s going to break when I move it on carpet. We have a bed “frame” that barely deserves the name. It’s strong enough for it’s intended use, but I don’t believe I could safely carry it down the stairs, for example, without the headboard breaking off. My spouse keeps buying this stuff for the price and the look and because I always end up doing the assembly work. It will never, ever, be heirloom furniture. It’s barely above junk when it’s brand new. Pride? Not what I feel.
Ikea’s furniture runs the gamut from “absolute crap” to “solid, would recommend.” I have no qualms getting their better items.
Just don’t dismantle it for moving.
None of the crap flat-pack furniture we own is from Ikea. I have been happy with Ikea products in the past, and I would order from their catalog again. What I really, deeply hate, is shopping in the deliberate maze that is Ikea. The last time I was in one it was too crowded with products and people for me to enjoy anything about it. Short sight lines, no way to see just the things you’re interested in finding-- gah. I hope no one ever tries to drag me inside that place again. It strongly reminds me of being in an overstuffed rummage sale, except that it’s vast and brightly lit. Even finding the way out was unpleasant and I believe, deliberately confusing so you see more stuff to buy. No thank you.
“It’s working!” said Ikea executives with evil Swedish laughter.
not sure how i missed that song before now. i thought we had all of JoCo’s music, too. this song just underlines what i find fun about IKEA, lol
EDIT:
ok, this part i totally grok. the EXPERIENCE of shopping there is a total slog. it’s always packed, and you just have to trudge through until you get to the things you came for. yeah, that part is just the worst.
Yeah. The fiberboard stuff is definitely disposable quality. We have a large dining table with chairs, made from acacia. It has held up very well and I expect we’ll still have the table at least for decades. Same with the acacia shelves.
Ikea wasn’t the only person to figure this out. Go back a decade to Sandra Lee’s Semi Homemade. Though the only thing anyone remembers now is the infamous Kwanzaa Cake or the non-kosher
Hanukkah cake (and Sandra was converted to Judaism!), her core idea showed pretty savvy marketing and understanding of how people think: as long as you make part of the recipe from scratch, you still feel like you made it yourself.
For the people talking about the maze, it’s what we enjoy when we go to the store. When we do decide to go it’s because we’re in the market for something specific but as long as we’re there it’s cheap breakfast and then wander around.
We’ve never had a problem finding what we needed and then finding our way to the register.
Our super sized grocery stores have been doing stuff like that forever. The milk is six miles away and you have to walk past everything else to get to it.
Impulse buying setups have been a thing for a long time.
Casinos, now those are the places I get lost in, talk about trapping you in.
Find the shortcuts and memorize them.
Good for martial arts demonstrations, or making zombie films.
Less good for load bearing, or surviving a zombie apocalypse.
True, as proven by the Hydraulic Press Channel:
I don’t plan on driving my car onto any of my IKEA or non IKEA flat pack furniture.
Well, then, I’m going to have a hard time selling you a “tactical” desk made entirely from black anodized knurled aluminum.
If it comes with one of those tactical flashlights that can light up the dark side of the moon I’m in.
Go into any furniture thrift store and you can find an unending supply of dining room hutches. So many that if you have one you’re trying to donate/sell/give away/pay someone to just take it so you don’t have to look at it anymore, you’ll have a hard time. Not the small little quaint pine painted with the distressed wood look either. The large imposing ones that show off an entire fine china set that you also cannot get rid of. The ones that need a truck and aren’t going to fit in any minivan or SUV. Nightmares just thinking of them.
While they may move dining tables or living room accent tables, those dining room hutches just pile up.
For the Ikea stuff, it’s clear that lots of people’s only exposure to Ikea was when they were broke and needed the cheapest furniture possible. Yeah, Ikea sells that, and it’s cheap, and it falls apart if you stress it at all, or maybe just look at it sideways.
But, they also sell an entire spectrum of stuff. Some of which is all solid wood or super sturdy. At least one cheap coffee table you could probably park a car on and some bookshelves you could use a stairs without worry. It costs more than that cheap stuff, so nobody bought it as their first thing when they had no money.
It all comes flat though, which means it likely all makes the trip home much easier than anything else.
Selling something that’s less than full service at a more affordable price is a time honored tradition. Heathkit stereos (my dad made one) and later computers. When I was little my mom took me shopping to a discount supermarket where you had to mark the prices yourself. And it’s hard to remember a time when self-service gas wasn’t the norm (side-eye at OR/NJ), but at one time it would have been the same dynamic. And people didn’t think it was “foisting”, it was just why pay someone else for something you can do yourself.
I’m wondering if that really was an Ikea, or if you stumbled on SCP-3008?
