Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/11/02/how-to-cool-brussels-sprouts.html
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Instructions unclear, cooled my sprouts… still too tough to eat.
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15 posts were split to a new topic: OMG Pancetta wars 2018
Cooling them is easy; cooking them, not as much.
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He hits all the baselines. Don’t cook too long. More oil. More heat.
The big problem people seem to have roasting spouts is they way over do it. My mother seems to think they take an hour. And people often use too low a heat.
The pictured “bad sprouts” are actually fine. Seared on the outside and still crunchy is pretty good, provided that’s what your looking for. The big problem is (as he says in the video) over cooked grey mush. Which is also the problem with boiled spouts. Those are tasty if you do it briefly, just till tender. But good ole mom boiled them till they we’re grey boogers of sad.
If you want maximum crunchy browning: deep fry.
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I always want to cook with pancetta, but it’s like $12.99 a pound or more, so I always just end up buying bacon… Is it worth it?
Yeah I totally agree- most of those “bad sprouts” are just “bad photos.” Just because something is photographed well doesn’t mean it tastes good (and vice versa).
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My ex makes them perfectly, with maple and mustard. So good people who hate brussels sprouts love her brussels sprouts!
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Preheating a good rimmed baking sheet is key to a quality oven roast of any veggie. You also need to not overcrowd. Too much veggie and they can’t get away from the moisture they’re throwing off and they steam instead of roast.
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I cook them on the stove in a cast-iron pan, a bit of oil, med-high heat, cut them in half, flat side down, cook quickly until you get the desired “charredness”, flip them all over for a few minutes more, season as you wish. Key is high heat, quick cooking, right amount of oil.
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This is sort of what I do with them.
I preheat my cast iron skillet and coat will with oil - oven is preheated to 450 as well.
Drop in the sprouts and pancetta or bacon pieces, toss them till they are browned, put in something similar to his sauce BEFORE putting them in the oven, then roast for 15.
One difference - I put the oven rack all the way at the top so it reflects the heat off the ceiling.
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Sprouts are my favorite vegetable. I like them boiled with almonds or Speck. The trick is cutting them crosswise and boiling for no longer than 15 min.
then add:
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brown Speck* (e.g. South Tyrolean) in a pan, when brown add butter and the sprouts, mix, serve
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brown thin slices of almonds, when brown add butter and the sprouts, mix, serve
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All brussels sprouts are fucking horrible. It simply does not matter what is done with them, they are tiny, slimy, bitter cabbages that grow on a weird stick-thing like some kind of fake plant that would have been rejected outright by the props department of a bad 60s sci fi film and they can fuck right off. Eat some nice brassicas instead; cavollo nero cabbage shredded, steamed and dressed with salt pepper and good olive oil. Fuck sprouts.
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Sprouts are ace. 5 minutes in boiling water, then fry them in plenty of butter with salt and pepper until they start to brown.
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As others have said, he hits the basics right, flat pan, oil and salt, and a nice high temperature on the oven for a shorter time. But, as someone who’s brussels sprouts always disappear completely at the potluck, I disagree with his advice to not flip them partway through. I don’t want the cut side to be black. They have much more of a brussels sprout flavor if you don’t overdo on one side. We do about 20-25 minutes with a flip halfway through at 450 and they turn out very well. You should be careful not to go too long. The color you want is actually for the leaves to still be a nice saturated green. You can do something more than that and then drown them in some sort of sauce like he suggests, but in doing so you miss a lot of what makes brussels sprouts delicious and unique.
And as for the person who says that all brussels sprouts are horrible, the fact that you describe them as all being slimy shows that you’ve never had good ones. Roasted, grilled, or pan-seared brussels sprouts will never be slimy. Only if you bake them in a covered dish, steam them, or boil them do they come out slimy. So I’m sorry that people are ruining brussels sprouts and then serving them to you, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t be done well.
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And even then you have to badly over cook them.
I like to serve people with that association a brussel sprout salad. Just shave them thin across the grain. Some dried fruit and nuts. Some mixed greens in there. Little vinegarette.
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The last time I had brussels sprouts that could be remotely described as “slimy” or “bitter” was when my mom used to serve the frozen ones. Definitely slimy and bitter.
When made right (as in this video, or by my hands) they’re crisp, nutty, sweet, and amazing.
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How to serve brussel sprouts:
- Leave kitchen
- insert brussel sprouts into cannon
- fire into the air
- order take out.
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Clean and cut the sprouts in halves. Boil them in salted water for 3-4 minutes, 5 minutes max. Drain, leave to dry in the pot while you…
Put some butter or olive oil in a frying pan. Add some bacon cubes, pancetta, whatever you call salted pig belly 
… Fry a bit, then add the sprouts. Fry till the sprouts have a color you like, turning them regularly.
Oven not necessary.
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Then throw them away and have a pie instead.
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They cook faster and get crisper in quarters.
Easier to over cook though.
The blanching is a great tip iffin you want tender spouts from big ones or halves but don’t want to over brown them to get there.
Which reminds me I have a jar of duck fat and a bag of sprouts in the fridge…
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