Incredible AT&T chat transcript with terrible customer support specialist

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So no twist ending where it turns out actually not to be cancelled? and the billings keep coming…?


That customer has more patience than I do. I’d have been straight to, “I don’t need to hear any more bullshit options or offers! JUST CANCEL THE FUCKING LINE ALREADY!!1!1!” after about 10 minutes.


I’ve had similar issues trying to get a refund on our U-Verse service we canceled at the beginning of the year. I thought we could cancel and it would zero out but we now have a $287 “credit” and everyone I talk with tells me something different.

No they can’t credit the card on file. They don’t do that.
Instead I will get a VISA gift card for the refund 30-45 days after the cancellation.

45 days later: nothing
Next person apologizes for 10 minutes and then tells me it will arrive in 30 days. I ask for an email confirmation. They assure me that they will send it to the email on file. I get nothing.

30 days later: nothing
Next person apologizes for 10 minutes and this time ASSURES me that I will now get a CHECK in “7-10 Business Days”. I ask for an email confirmation and refuse to hang up until I receive one. It takes THREE TRIES to get an email confirmation and EACH TIME, it is in the form of a “QUOTE” for a new wireless line for $89. There is a space for a “note” and by the 3rd time the “Agent” was able to figure out how to put in my “Refund Confirmation Number” and acknowledge what we spoke about.

Coming up on 10 “Business Days” in 2 days. I am not optimistic.


Three days later …

“Hello, we’ve been trying to reach you about line 6609. As a loyal customer, you can reactivate this line for the low price of $10. Press 1 now to reactivate the line immediately, or press 2 to speak to a support specialist who can help you suspend the automatic reactivation of your line until a time of your choosing …”



Yeah, corporate customer service is almost universally terrible, but this dialogue doesn’t pass the sniff test for me. I call fabrication.


Wow, as the member of the household who fields these sorts of calls, I feel seen.

Well, then you have had a very fortunate time with customer service, my friend. The only thing that’s remotely unique about this situation is that there is a transcript (and that the responder was maybe not a bot?). Oh, and that they didn’t just give up after the 50th “offer” and accept the continuing charges.


I got a minor version of this a few years back trying to cancel a mobile (cell) service in Australia. After two offers, I said “I appreciate that you have a script your job requires you to run through, and I don’t hold that against you personally. I’ll be sitting here on my end, sipping coffee and saying ‘no’ to everything you offer, and you can read it as quickly or slowly as you like.” Oddly, she brightened up and seemed to make a game of reading it as fast as she could, with me happily saying ‘nope’ each time. It was strangely fun, and we got through it in just over a minute.


I dunno, I’ve had some pretty bad experiences with customer service. My problem with this is that it has a “voice” that feels written (and not just because one side was ostensibly reading a script). It has the ring of, at the very least, dramatic embellishment, but to my ear it reads as made up.

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Yeah, it read like a “transcript from memory, plus a couple notes”. I don’t particularly doubt it went generally like that, having visited the US enough to get a sense of some local versions of customer service (I’m looking at you, Delta Airlines).


Fair enough. However, the reality is that these people are under tremendous pressure to execute corporate-mandated upsells and customer retention goals. It’s not hard for me to imagine this “Kelvin Durant” (are we not even going to address this fantastic name?) is at the end of their month/rope and their shitheel middle manager, who is hanging on for dear life themselves, is breathing down their neck to meet upsell quotas for the period and is sweating bullets and kicking down. Tbh, if I were in that situation with 3 little peas to feed, I don’t know if I’d handle it any differently than Kelvin.


Kevin Durant Basketball GIF by Phoenix Suns


This statement is too true for me… I’m in retail cell sales for a different carrier.


I once had a similar issue with a gym membership.
I called back later after thinking about it.

“May I know why you are choosing to cancel”
“I slept with my personal trainer’s girlfriend”
“And he’s really big and I’m terrified of running into him. He found out recently”
“We can transfer you to another location if you’d like…”
“No he works across several, I really can’t risk it”
“Oh uh…”
“I was worth it by the way. I can put her on to verify if you like”
Actual girlfriend in background “Hi!”
“No that’s okay. Please repeat exactly what you just said when the.customer survey people call back later”

The infidelity wasn’t true btw, and I didn’t have a personal trainer so nobody was gonna get in trouble. But it’s true this is what I said and it worked!


Pro tip: to “cancel” an account, log in to their website and change any of your credit card details (name, CC #, billing address, whatever). Next time they try to charge you, it won’t go through. No need to deal with a human.

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Nah, it’s AT&T. I’d say it’s legit.


Only an hour? Pshaw, that’s nothing. Been there, done that. Haven’t we all?


hardly think that works. they’d verify any new credit card number you gave them, just like they did the original. ( and if you cancel your credit card, they’ll happily send the collectors after you. )


I’ve heard this conversation before…

2001 A Space Odyssey Quote GIF by Top 100 Movie Quotes of All Time


I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if the customer support specialist was a bot…or AI…sigh


I would just tell them to cancel it and hang up. If the line isn’t cancelled file a complaint with the FCC.

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