Lies I've Told My 3 Year Old Recently


#21

That is indeed fantastic, and daring.

The addition of the glowing horn - that could have opened up a whole dimension of interrogation and suspicion, even accusations of species mis-identification. Overactive inquisition by the lil’uns could have led to cracks in the facade, and then … after a sweaty hour or two you would have been begging for a unicorn chaser.


#22

I’m seeing a pattern with your misrepresentations. A certain … consistency.


#23

OK this is my lie. When asked, upon the spontaneous and potentially disgusted comprehension that food on the plate might be chopped-up dead animals, whether we really eat animals, my response was “yes dear, just not the talking ones.”

The meal continued with happy, pensive chewing.


#24

“Everyone knows at least one secret language.”

this isnt actually a lie. I know three.


#25

And the story and process behind that comic (nsfw):


#26

That’s a shame.

My childhood was nothing but imagination run rampant, making the banal beautiful and the tedious tremendous.

Being an adult, I see the world as it really is, and I look to the beauty in nature and the truth of living as some sort of reclamation of that earlier time, when you see the bare, simple reality and decide that without knowing better, it doesn’t have to be that way. Clouds into spaceships, bushes and shrubs into forests, Lego into sprawling cities, agonising growing pains into latent X-men powers (personal fave of mine).

The truth will set you free, yes. But so does using your brain for making the world shimmer when it might not before.


#27

Try this one:- “This wind is caused by all those trees flapping their arms about.”
; )


#28

And no one thinks to discuss the very last lie he told his three-year-old? Reading that made me not want to mention any bullshitting I had done, as I had told the same lie.

We all have.


#29

Well, actually… https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tardigrade

Moss, no. Water bears, yes


#30

“The animals are prevalent in moss and lichen…”

Moss, yes.


#31

Wait, so you do eat talking ones?

Parrots, right?

… Right?


#32

aaaaah yes you saw it. I thought I was going to sneak under the radar. yeah … parrots. Feathery, bright, coloured, parrots.

First, you take off their shoes ** damnit**


#33

Do you know what imagination is? Perhaps you grew up too quickly and lost the ability. Thankfully, this parent didn’t.


#34

My mom used to tell me that the biggest, tallest tree in the yard could talk. I may identify as a Skeptic and will deny the existence of big foot and gods, but you know what? That tree does talk. I’ve heard it. Apparently, she sounds an awful lot like my mom. Which is interesting, because Santa Clause’s handwriting is quite similar to my mom’s, too! My mom most be one heck of an influence :wink:


#35

When I wrote that story about talking bears when I was 4, would you have told me that bears don’t talk?


#36

Ahh, but even in his world, DOLPHINS COULD TALK.

Just sayin’


#37

Whoa, back up. SR500927v73234qbxdWhatTheFuckIsWrongWithPronounceableUserNames’ response was kinda annoyingly humorless, but it’s awful silly to assert that not lying to kids is the same as stifling their imagination. Kids are quite capable of imagining everything from unicorns in the woods to monsters under the bed with or without parental assistance. I don’t think there’s any harm in these cute little stories, but there’s no harm in not telling them, either.


#38

I’ve had to euthanize two elderly cats this year. My 4 y.o. son was pretty attached to the most recently departed. He didn’t quite get what was going on when I put the first cat down, but we let him participate in the burial of the second. That little bit of participation really helped him understand that kitteh wasn’t going to be purring on the back of the couch anymore. Everyone’s mileage may vary, but I just don’t think we’d be doing our son any favors by sheilding him from the more unpleasant aspects of life.

We’re in the same boat on the god question. He hasn’t asked about it because he’s not in school yet and we’re atheists, but we’ll have to introduce him to other people’s beliefs sooner than later. Fun times! I think I’ll introduce him to Pastafarianism first.


#39

Ha! I just read that book last winter. It’s amazingly relavent to current times.


#40

Aw, the little 'spores are adorbz!