Livetweeting a toothbrush's firmware update

At least they asked first.
From BP cuffs,cpap devices to toothbrush’s :

And He wants your data.

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And people laugh at me when I tell them we already became cyborgs, functionally.

A friend of mine (also a client) was showing me all of the data his baby is generating, from literally day 1. I contributed, he had the internet-connected changing pad on his registry and REALLY wanted it. Gotta oblige, reptilian overlords to please and all!

This of course does not include the internet-connected cradle with integrated swaddling unit, internet connected benevolent all-seeing eye of Mama and Papa. And probably five other things I’m forgetting.

We have, indeed, “gone cyborg.” And nobody really noticed! Kind of like nobody noticed the New York Times had an article about a year ago exactly, on the front page (so did The Washington Post), that said the Pentagon is essentially acknowledging that UFOs are real, and intelligent, and not human, and they even released fighter jet footage of UFOs along with the story.

LOL What in the flying fuck! I knew the 21st Century was going to be WEIRD AS FUCK, but the shit is just bonkers, and it’s not even 2020! Oh, and Donald Fucking Trump is President of the United States, and is very likely LITERALLY a Russian Agent.

HAHAHAHA!!! :rofl::rofl::rofl:


The mere existence of the phrase “Choose “Always Allow” for an effortless app experience” is like a splinter embedded in the everyday.

I can only hope that whoever wrote it is, always, conscious of having done something too petty to confess and too sordid to forgive; and of being the sort of person who would do such a thing. I’m not holding my breath; but I can hope.


this future is stupid


I was born into a computer generation. We had a C64 and then an Apple IIe when I was a kid. I’ve built computers and programmed plenty of code through the years and generally spent much of my life at the keyboard. But then one day a woke up to find I’m a damn Luddite, because shit like this has made me resistant to every technological “advance” of the past decade. Tech first sold out to our corporate overlords, and then just went ahead and became our corporate overlords.


I’ve written enough code to know there are always bugs that will need fixing. I’ve also lived more than the 1 day needed to know that my toothbrush shouldn’t have any software.


But kind of funny stupid, right? :rofl:

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I have one of these sonicaire bluetooth toothbrushes. The saving grace is that the bluetooth died within weeks of the purchase. I did get it replaced, but the second one had the bluetooth die within weeks as well. Suicide?


On the kid’s version of the Sonicare that my daughter has, the app claimed to be all about teaching good brushing techniques cleverly disguised as a phone game. Not that I ever installed it. Data collection issues aside, I see no reason why a kid can’t learn to brush her teeth without the aid of a screen game.

“Alexa start toothbrush”


I guess that’s handy if you want to use your phone’s front facing camera to let you see yourself as you brush.

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Heck, I logged in to say the same thing. Same reason my fitbit app wants my location: BLE permissions are lumped in under location (for good reason; BLE beacons are a splendid way to do location inside buildings).

Exactly my experience. I realized that older digital technology tends to work better than newer.
I have a landline phone, that is a NOS phone that was made in the '90 by the Friendly Phone Company to be rent. Built like a tank and just works.

I have a regular CD player, and guess what? Put a CD in, press Play, turn up the volume and enjoy.
The fact is that simpler technology was easier to test, and not able to being reflashed, when they burned the ROMs they had to make it right the first time. My cassette recorder has inside a Z80 based microcontroller for the display and the remote and doesn’t have any bug.


Well, aren’t you boujie.


Gritty Little Shop of Horrors reboot, or grittier Marathon Man reboot?

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OMG this is such an awesome metaphor

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For some people, having their phone nag them when they’ve forgotten to brush their teeth could improve their dental health. Perhaps a dental hygienist can show his or her patients a chart of “brushing vs cavities”. We don’t know anything about whether or not these will help until enough people try it out to provide statistically significant data.

We’re all so quick to put on our “outrage face” every time one of these otherwise mundane objects connects that we overlook the fact that some of these IoT devices may actually do a few people some good.

What happens in a decade if these prove to decrease cavities in children by 50%, and subsequently in adults who grew up with better brushing habits as a result? Are you still going to say “no, son, you should learn to brush without a smart toothbrush, and risk getting cavities because dear old Dad is opposed to IoS devices!”?

We don’t know what will happen until people try it.

I find some heartening news in all of this. We all know one of the worst problems with IoT devices is that they never update their firmware, creating unfixable security holes. At least these toothbrushes are responsibly being patched, and the manufacturer is maintaining them.

How else do you clean Juicero stains off your teeth?