Making sense of Basic Income proposals

In threads like these I like to envision the broken neoliberal implementation of UBI we’ll see in the U.S. (because if libertarians and conservatives are now being forced to talk about it, it’s inevitable):

  1. The UBI will be funded initially by eliminating all other welfare programmes, including a phase-out of Social Security as the Boomers die off.

  2. The monthly stipend will be around a base $1600 a month per citizen, adjusted for local cost of living. Minors get a reduced stipend (maybe 30% of the total) until age 18 – heavy parental controls on spending to reflect the conservative view of kids as chattel (they’ll probably try to give women a reduced stipend, too). Wealthy people get the stipend as well as poor people, because we’re fair to job creators in Murka. Similarly, people with jobs get the UBI as well as the unemployed, because not doing so would just reward the moochers.

  3. The UBI vehicle will be a stored-value card with heavy programmed-in restrictions (see below) that’s topped up each month. Crony vendors will make a fortune maintaining the systems that make this possible.

  4. At the end of the month, any funds left on the card will be zeroed out. “Use it or lose it” (see below for why)

  5. At least 50% of the UBI must be spent on rent/housing/household maintenance. Happy incumbent landlords and slumlords, plus the wealthy get a break on homeowner association dues and repairs!

  6. At least 20% of the UBI must be spent on food from authorised vendors and restaurants. Happy Walmart and McDonalds! Mom-and-pop restaurant or grocery store? Pay up for your terminal and license and support contract or shut down.

  7. At least 10% per month must be spent on health insurance. Happy for-profit insurance companies! (what, you thought Commie single-payer universal would be at play here?)

  8. The remaining 20% or the funds are discretionary ones that may be spent at authorised (again, read: incumbent for-profit bigcorp or utility) vendors for products and services like Internet, mobile phones, utilities, consumer goods (on high-interest layaway for big-ticket items), transit/gasoline, school fees, clothing, haircuts, etc. This will do enough to maintain a sham consumer economy despite the dwindling of the middle class and give recipients the illusion of choice and taking personal responsibility.

  9. Deposits of UBI funds in savings accounts are not allowed, although stock brokerage accounts will be permitted. Given the economy of scale this will allow the markets and commercial/investment banks (a new Glass-Steagall? What’s that?) to continue wheeling and dealing, Wells Fargo style.

And thus, boys and girls, did America’s totally not-socialist UBI end up allowing the rich to get richer and kept the uneccesariat from building guillotines when their jerbs were offshored and automated away.

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