What they need is an exceptionally large air conditioner. That way, they could freeze hell over. However, even that probably wouldn't work because HBO would point out that an AC, just being a heat pump, created hell on the other side of the air conditioner, and so hell really just moved and didn't freeze over. HBO then would take more fat wads of cable company cash.
I'm an adult with a job. I can afford to pay for content, and I want to support the stuff I like, so I am generally happy to do it. I just follow a simple rule. If I can buy something within 5 minutes, I will. If I can't I am an unabashed pirate. Thankfully, companies are slowly waking up to the fact that people like me are pretty normal consumers. In the US, I almost never pirate except for Game of Thrones. I wonder how many more years it will take before entertainment companies pull their head out of their asses and realize that things work much the same across the pond. Europe's piracy rates are so high because that is oftentimes the only way to get digital content on demand.