NYPD: We can't tell you how much cash we seize because it would break our computers

I’m sorry Officer, I can’t tell you how fast I was going…it would break my speedometer.

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… He went on to say that the financial report would be in excess of 12,000 pages and would raise all kinds of distracting questions.

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Geeze guys, it’s not hard!

Just claim that you’ll need a bigger computer to do the counting, get millions added to your budget for a major IT infrastructure project and kick the problem into the long grass for the next 5-10 years or so by making sure the project gets ‘the proper oversight a major public initiative that the walking cash cows good citizens of the world’s greatest city truly deserves’ During which time if you can’t work out how to clean up your shit may be it’s time to take a good look in the mirror and ask whether you really want the cash…

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Aren’t the cops the largest armed force in the city?

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Wouldn’t that end up meaning : you can’t charge a company (moral person, so inanimate) with crimes?

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Does anyone know of good figures comparing asset forfeiture, wage theft, and civilian theft? I see occasional claims that asset forfeiture and wage theft each exceed civilian theft [not by police or businesses].

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Councilmember Torres, perhaps you should demand that they they spend their money on computer hardware from this century and some accounting software instead of spending $7.5 million dollars on military hardware.

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B[eight pages of the letter “u”]llshit

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Agreed. Justice Thiel will rule wisely. :stuck_out_tongue:

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They must have an integer overflow problem.
/s

God, I hate cops. I have someone close to me who had all of their assets seized. Even after being found not guilty, they have yet to return the seized items.

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Presumably cash gets deposited directly into the Policemen’s Benevolent Association account…

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“We don’t count it. When we need some we just swim through our Scrooge McDuck money pool until enough gets caught in our swimtrunks.”

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It’s plausible that they’re storing it in freeform text fields like “What was seized?” and some might say “$5000 cash” while others say “300 rolls of nickels” or “five thousand dollars cash” or “3 story house” or “red lamborghini” or “3 donuts with glaze and 2 with sprinkles”. That would make it hard to calculate a total. And yeah, that’s not really effective for counting cash, but that may not have been one of the requirements when the software was designed. Sometimes it’s how things are done until a new requirement (like ability to sum value by type) arises and gets prioritized.

About 5 years ago, the mayor claimed they were the 7th largest armed force in the world. While their manpower and budget can be ranked amongst armies, neither is near 7th place. Maybe that 7th largest in terms of the number of corrupt officers?

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I am tempted to write them some free sql code for the purpose.

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Yeah but the money must be is entering their accounting system, where they do keep track of pluses and minuses.

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I’m not too worried.

I’m sure someone is going to claim that Thiel’s birth certificate is complete bullshit. An utter fabrication, then we’ll have six to eight months of “investigation” and by then congress will realize he’s too unpopular to approve.

Right? It worked so well for Trump last time, right?

Oh wait. Lying your ass off about easily verifiable stuff is the republican’s MO.

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“sue the pants off of someone” suddenly gets a whole new meaning.

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This is the same NYPD that doxxes people on Twitter, although I’m not sure if that’s a technical ability problem or they just don’t give a shit.

Dodgy blur added by me, in the original the Name and address on the title were fully readable.

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