NYPD: We can't tell you how much cash we seize because it would break our computers

More specific details on their system:

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Ugh. SAP. Still it couldn’t be too hard to do a dump of the information and crunch the data elsewhere.

I imagine SAP would have some things to say about the idea an obvious query for an ERP would crash the system.

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Ohhh. That explains it. They’re using an ‘enterprise solution’ built on buzzwords and sales commissions. In that case, it could legitimately take another $25 million and several years to build a system to get the data out of that behemoth in some usable format. (Of course, once they did, it’d probably only take a couple of days for a developer to load it into mysql or sqlite and run a query.)

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do they offer an own industrial solution module for this use case? like IS-H is for hospitials police departments worldwide depend on IS-Extortion?

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But we can definitely give you a nice list of everyone we’re pretty sure™ is in a gang, their license plate number, the gas station they frequent, and where their girlfriends live, in case you need to shake them down for some quick cash!

Something tells me “break out system” actually refers to “if people found out how much cash we seize they would break up our little fucking blue mafia (minus the code of conduct) system, and we’d be out of cash”

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If asset forfeiture is a between an asset such as cash and the police, how can the amount of cash being confiscated not be known? How can their be an action against cash of an unknown amount?

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—I’m going to try and remember that quote…

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Clearly they can afford to buy a supercomputer

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Or they could just seize one.

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