Paperback Paradise: remixing vintage book-covers to reveal their hilarious, lewd subtext


Originally published at:


Those aren’t terribly lewd, I call false advertising.

EDIT: I take that back. I clicked through.


Oh great. Here I’ve been working on my own novel titled Planet of the Testicles for two years and apparently Hamilton beat me to it.


What would Swamp Hoyden think?


Awesome. Can’t remember what the actual title was, but this one is much better.

This is a better ark retelling:


<Takes off hat, stares somberly at ground />


For those who prefer covers with their original titles, may I suggest:

These certainly have their own kind of appeal, though.

On that note, I never did find out if this was an actual book – this image is all over the Internet now and there’s no hope of tracing it back to its original source.


Considering “Drew Bledsoe” is a football player who was benched and retired after a really bad final season, the author is almost definitely not legitimate, so the title probably isn’t either.

Couldn’t say whether the picture is from a legit book, though.


No he didn’t he’s just early with the cover art.


Nearly all those sci-fi ones: if they were real, I’d totally read 'em.

Probably this one first.

Actually, since only the titles are fake (I assume), I’ll just go ahead and see if I can track 'em down. The Crack That Vanished looks particularly compelling.


I can’t remember the real title but I loved that book as a kid!


I would totally read this - a narrative about finding arcane artifacts of immense power on Etsy sounds pretty funny - although I suspect it might work better as a short story:


Sounds like Neil Gaiman’s short story Chivalry.



Yeah, with the added layers of the creator still being alive and pumping the things out, and the artifacts of immense power potentially being made out of felt.



Hey, somebody answer a lifelong question for me:

Does Dennys Murry pronounce his name like “Dennis,” or like the late-night greasy-spoon restaurant chain?



It’s been years, but I have a vague recollection of reading it literally in my head.


Yeah, as a kid I read it like the restaurant name, but as I got older I realized that was probably incorrect.

Still, a tiny part of my childhood self says it is disappoint.


Until you realize it’s shipping from China, and will arrive in three months and five pieces.

I’m saving this one for the next idiot who tries to tell me about their Tinder misadventures…