My method won’t stop the snail mail, but it does give me some catharsis when I get the same stuff.
Snail Mail Spam:
Step 1: take contents of Spam1 and write whatever your heart desires, wherever your heart desires–I usually start with “DON"T SEND ME THIS SHIT” and go from there. I think it’s best if you don’t align your text with any lines on the sheet, and I prefer to use a large marker.
If that doesn’t pickle my fantasy enough, and especially if the contents don’t fit in the envelope (a standard tactic–the application fits in the smaller envelope, but the larger promo shit doesn’t), scissors, or the power of the hand, is your friend. Tear/cut to fit.
Step 2: Insert pleasantly modified Spam1 contents into return envelope of Spam2 (assuming there is one) and send.
Variations on this theme have included, and are definitely not limited to, filling out ‘applications’ with information obtained from various corporate headquarters, CEO names and such. I enjoy using a return address of 1060 West Addison, Chicago, IL 60614 because it’s lodged firmly in my memory for reasons. I understand the RNC headquarters appreciates any spam you can swing their way as well.
Telephone spam: If it’s a recording, I’ll listen and press the number they want me to press to connect to their ‘sales representative’. Once I get a human, I’ve got the option of giving them bogus info to take up their time until I tire of the game and say “TAKE ME OFF THE LIST”. Between being on the FCC’s Do Not Call registry, and this tactic, my spam calls are down to ~2/month.
