Rats exposed to cell phone radiation lived longer than control group


#1

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/02/05/rats-exposed-to-cell-phone-rad.html


#2

I wonder how many people are going to stick their heads in a microwave because of this study.


#3

No rats were harmed during this study, I think.


#4

I am extending my lifespan right now!


#5

“Ra-di-a-tion. Yes, indeed. You hear the most outrageous lies about it. Half-baked goggle-box do-gooders telling everybody it’s bad for you. Pernicious nonsense! Everybody could stand a hundred chest X-rays a year! They oughta have 'em, too.” – J. Frank Parnell, “Repo Man”


#6

So what do you think the next experiment should be?


#7

Wait, trump doesn’t have a 15 year old in charge of this agency does he?

“See Dad! I told you so!”


#8

Well sure. But I bet the group that had to read the content on the phone died sooner.


#9

Great - another thing Millennial will ruin, living longer and sucking up our medicare instead of dying like considerate people do…


#10

I think there’s only one real take-away from this study: radiation-powered super-rats. You’ve been warned.


#11

Use smart phones, have the rats look at Facebook, et al, determine the number of brain cells destroyed as compared to those of the control group.


#12

This has to be an attempt at further mind control by the government. I’ve never seen a rat with a cellphone, have you?! No, because they don’t make cellphones that small!!

Better safe than sorry.

https://www.amazon.com/Electro-Deflecto-Unisex-Foil-Size/dp/B01I497JAM


#13

image


#14

You laugh, but when a meta study of breast implants showed that they significantly reduce breast cancer (like 25%), the phenomena was duplicated by implanting rat size silicone breast implants.

Pause and think about that one for a while.

The meta study really was revolutionary. There had been dozens of independent human studies trying to prove a link between silicone implants and breast cancer. Each study ended with “Well, we must have screwed something up because we know it must cause cancer.” Turns out the rat study confirmed the hypothesis that the implants cause inflammation which caused the immune system to find and kill cancer at a higher rate.


#15

So my desk rat buddy is well into rat middle age. Does he need his own phone, for life extension purposes?


#16

Makes me wonder if there could be a whole new cancer treatment in that.


#17

So… they test lots of cancers, survival parameters, different frequencies, the analysis is two-sided and the significance p-value cutoff is pretty lenient 0.05. And yet, as far as I can see from the report that do not use multiple-testing correction?! lol


#18

So you’re saying that you . . . smell a rat?


#19

Maybe. But rats don’t have insurance.


#20

Let’s say that these significances smell not unlike a pile of cheese.