I hear you, Acer. I remember in the mid-70s, I was bussing in an east coast restaurant in high school. Waiters pooled tips and we got half of what they got w/ another portion going to dishwashers and the salad/dessert maker. When we were busy - and we were - they worked their asses off. Chef and assistants were paid well enough to let it work this way. Win-win-win. Oddly, we also paid the percentage on the Visa/Amex cards from the pool. (Do you take Amex? Oh yes, but we prefer Visa or MC ;^) I guess thatās a little tarnish on the w-w-w.
Cue MPythonās Oh, but we was 'appy!
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So how about, you know, mandating that restaurant staff are paid a living wage and incorporate the 20% āgratuityā into the base price for the meal? Much less hassle for everyone and when the waiters are given a tip it is in fact for good service, not just for being there. Will also make the US experience of eating out much more relaxing for us foreigners who get confused about the weird tipping system.
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I waited tables all through college and used to have to split the tips with the bar and bus staff. It actually worked pretty well - the waiters who gave a reasonable split with the other staff got good service from them, which translated to better tips for everyone. Those who were stingy sometimes didnāt get their customersā water filled as quickly. I think itās probably best for the customer of all staff share in the tips, or maybe even pool most of the time.
That said, Iām a super picky tipper. If service is good enough, I tip 15%. If itās very good, 20% or even a couple points higher. If itās not great i usually go 12-14% - it sends a message without really hurting them that much, since they probably still have to split as if they got 15%. And if service is really lousy Iāll tip a buck (just donāt leave the tip line blank!) and Iāll slip the bus person some cash on the way out. In the case where both wait and bus staff are lousy, I sometimes wish I could just tip the kitchen.
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Yeah, really. I have the same reaction to those āpay what you wantā eateries that I read about. āNo, you tell me what it costs you (plus profit) to provide this meal for fair compensation for everyone involved, I cough up the money for the meal, and you make sure everyone gets paid. I donāt want to have to deal with figuring out what I need to pay to compensate for any below-market rate service staff salary shenanigans, nor do I generally want to figure out what a reasonable price is for your service. Just pay your workers a reasonable salary and weāll go from there.ā
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And thereās the complication:
A waiter who has found a place where a typical, two-top tab is $40 is going to get radically different tips from a waiter who works where that same tab is $100
I sure donāt know the perfect solution, Iām only saying itās complicated with the current, American, tipping paradigm in place.
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Iām totally with the non-Americans on this. Your normal practice sound exhausting to me. I eat out to enjoy a cuisine and an atmosphere I cannot easily replicate at home, not to act as some sort of volunteer supervisor lording it over the wait staff, assessing their performance and determining their pay. I tip 15-20% for table service, and a dollar or so at the bar or for counter service, because it seems fair, itās in line with community standards, and I am uninterested in micromanaging workers and finely grading their effort - not to mention, untrained in such and probably poorly suited to it.
The whole practice of tipping is a burden on too many customers and, worse, there too many customers who enjoy it because it empowers them to be entitled jerks, and I am told these sorts are often poor tippers in any case.
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I describe it in detail, but itās not a process itās a calculation; if the service is good, I tip. If itās really good, I tip well. If the service is shabby I let it be known that I was disappointed by giving less.
Nothing is more infuriating to me than being charged 15-20% for service when the service is bad, as happens in Europe or restaurants in America with a party of 6-8 people. Iād rather do the calculation myself even if it takes some thought than have someone else decide what their fee should be when the service has been bad.
Ah, but you see just like any job the āgoodā waiters end up at places with higher average bills, and the lower paying jobs end up going to less experienced or waiters who arent as good.* Its really the only āupward mobilityā available in the industry. Also, in lower cost restaurants, the sections tend to be bigger and the other tipped-out staff tends to be smaller, so it does even out a bit.
*its worth noting that there is rampant discrimination in the restaurant world, and itās much harder for a person of color to get a job as a waiter than as a busser or runner. People of color (latins worse than blacks, imo) just donāt get offered as many waiter positions, especially in upper tier restaurants.
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I totally see this in the kitchen staff at EVERY FUCKING RESTAURANT I EAT AT.
Everyone behind the counter is brown, everyone on the other side of my table is white 
Thank you for noting it!
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As an American, I also find it quite annoying. Iāve stopped going to some restaurants due to not being able to carry on a conversation without being interrupted by the staff.
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Not that talking about it on a message board will change anything, but this is another argument for paying people fair wages instead of relying on tipping. People do not agree on tipping. Even in the US. And whether or not to tip counter service seems to be one of the biggest areas of disagreement.
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To take a page out of Mallory Archerās book: āWell people in Hell want icewater!ā Tipping for takeout is absurd. Thereās no service provided other than existing, which isnāt something you tip for.
ETA: I actually hadnāt thought about it that much. If itās the host taking the calls and handing me my food and such, I donāt feel bad not tipping for to-go. If itās the waitstaff and theyāve got to split their time between taking calls, and waiting tables, then Iād be less of an ass about tipping them.
But in the end, Iām usually a huge tipper. Thing is, I work a late shift that ends at 1am. The only restaurants I go to are typically real gnarly greasy spoons. But the thing is, I donāt get to chat with people often, and since the waitstaff isnāt typically busy this time of night, I usually try to strike up a conversation. I like hearing what they have to say, and talking a little about myself.
And after Iām done and itās time to settle up, I usually tip 50% of the bill, because indulging some lonely pale dude with little conversational ability, in the middle of the night, is going above and beyond the call of duty, and I really appreciate it even if the food is bad, and they donāt notice Iām waiting to be seated for 15 minutes.
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Oddly at the breakfast place just around the corner from me which has fair enough diner breakfast food that I go every now and then they have pretty much an entire staff of latino origin at least best I can recall.
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Get used to this. American service businesses are just itching to move to an āindependent contractorā model, and some industries already operate this way. Which basically means, they donāt pay the employees, arenāt responsible for them in any way, and owe them nothing except four walls to show up and beg in. Many taxi companies (including Uber) already operate this way, and I heard there is a restaurant in my town that is going to be trying it out soon. I wouldnāt be surprised if there are other industries already operating this way that I donāt know about.
One restaurant in my neighborhood splits all tips between all staff equally. If I have a great lunch or dinner there, I tip as generously as I can, since I know that everybody had a hand in making sure everything was great, and everybody will get a part of the tip. That being said, I would also like to see these people just paid well, and the tip returning to a show of gratitude, instead of subsidizing a sleazy business owner who wonāt develop a business model that allows him to pay fairly.
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Iāll give their kitchen staff a tip: start looking for a new job cause this restaurant is gonna go bankrupt soon.
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Hereās an idea. How about I pay for the price thatās on the menu and you pay for everything else, including taxes!
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I ran into a bit of culture shock in Coober Pedy of all places, when I, the USian, tried to tip someone who brought takeout to my hotel room, and he was super confused. āWhatās this for?ā āYou brought me food, and fast.ā āso?ā āitās a tipā āfor what?ā āfor bringing me foodā (quizzical lookā¦) āIām American.ā āOh! Thanks.ā
never had to argue with someone before for them to take a couple of bucksā¦
Hereās the problem: No server gives a shit what you think. You are completely indistinguishable from every cheap skate that has ever stiffed them. No server on earth has looked at your 12%-15% and said to them selves āGee, I guess my performance WAS sub par. I suppose I should do better next time!ā They just made a mental note that youāre a cheapskate.
There are 3 levels of possible service:
- Bad enough to speak to a manager
- Adequate
- Giving me free stuff
These are the only 3 levels possible, as the actual tasks involved with serving are fairly easy: Take order, carry order to table, donāt be actively hostile while doing so. Thatās it. Everything else that āearnsā tips fall under the category of ācloyingly ingratiating yourself to the customer.ā
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Coming soon to Seattle $15 an hour AND they want tipsā¦
