Scary Swedish bedtime stories for awful children


#1

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#2

Alas, about ten years too late for my little spawn.


#3

I want to hear what Werner Hertzog has to say about such children’s literature, or possibly even better, his take on the futility and unending suffering of childhood.

“As they, the children wake from their restless slumber on Christmas morning, none of them had supposed that Santa wouldn’t come this year. That their stockings would hang empty. That the tree would remain a barren and dead thing. Adorned with with meaningless baubles, but not any more beautiful or true for it. They have heard the Seussian tale of Christmas existing as a feeling in the heart. But all the children’s hearts were instead filled with anguish. Truly this Christmas is the worst. But they have yet to grow up and realize the true emptiness of the consumer-driven holiday with the clarity and perspective of time.”

*he then ducks off frame to savagely start eating puppies.*


#4

Shades of Struwwelpeter, which I was raised on and didn’t see anything unusual about until years later. Now, more years later, I think it ought to be required reading for all children.


#5

Can’t wait until my daughter is old enough for me to read these to her.


#6

Surely you can kidnap some nephews, or nieces, or neighbourhood children of the target age.


#7

Kidnapping children? Isn’t that the Krampus’s job?


#8

It’s a communal responsibility. It takes a village…


#9

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