Student's awesome non-apology for wearing leggings

How can we convince our young female students that it’s some kind of sin to wear leggings to school when their parents are wearing the same leggings out shopping?

“Because we should be teaching our future adults to think critically and not obey every rule mindlessly?”

Of course. But without structure in school, how do they learn which not to obey?
Speeding Limits? Underage Sex Laws? Cheating in Exams? Selling Heroin? Mugging Grannies? The line has to be drawn somewhere.

Dropping the old ‘They need to rebel instead of becoming mindless drones’ thing is old.

“She was well within her rights to tell her school to fuck off.”

We all did things that broke idiotic rules in school when we were younger, with which we were all pissed off after what seemed like stupid punishments. However, why is this awesome? A waterfall is awesome… Lightning is awesome… This is a girl rebelling badly against school rules, and that will only be detrimental to her education in the short term. You’re lauding a childish act of rebellion. Nothing more.

While I do think that for wearing leggings, this is harsh. Where is there a line drawn? Yoga pants? Crotchless Jeans? Leather Chaps? Lady Gaga outfits? The line has to be drawn somewhere people. She’ll find out all about wardrobe controls when she enters the workforce… And if she doesn’t follow the rules then, she’ll lose her job.

“Young girls have to deal with enough shitty things in the culture”

Young individuals, not just females, have enough shitty things to deal in their lives.

“What?”

‘To cop oneself’ is a phrase in the English language which means ‘To gain sense’ or ‘To grow up’.
Mainly used in Scotland and Ireland I believe.

“You used two periods in your second-to-last sentence.”

I’m a Rebel…

Great input there btw… I don’t use English much btw… Looks like all those rules I was breaking in school finally caught up with me too… Now I doubly punctuate my full stops… The shame… Oh nein, die Scham…! …

The real question is - were they jeggings? Because if they were, I am TOTALLY for a rule against those.

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I almost completely agree with you, yet the only thing I find interesting in all of this is the form she had to fill out.

Arbitrary rules? Kids not following them? kids giving flippant answers? Not that big of a deal really.

Reflection and apology in a form letter? Wow, effed up.

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All this speculation is fun! Without knowing if there is a dress code we get to imagine anything!

I, for one, think it noble of her to express modesty by wearing leggings when her dress code might possibly explicitly forbid the wearing of any clothing at all!

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I agree. I’m neutral (without more info) about the leggings issue, but I really dislike the imposed self-critique.

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I’ll be the voice of dissent and say I don’t get the widespread hatred of leggings. Leggings that are okay quality and a reasonable fit are no more revealing or slovenly than skinny jeans or a fitted skirt. If some leggings are translucent or so tight they get stuck way up into someone’s crotch/ass, then it’s because they picked the wrong leggings, not because that’s what leggings are supposed to look like. Some people wear jeans off their asses or ripped to shreds and yet we don’t ban all jeans. Leggings with a good fit and good quality fabric can be as decent and stylish a casual wear as jeans; it completely depends on how they’re worn.

For people- especially females- who have larger hip-to-waist ratio and/or hips and/or an actual butt without having big legs, leggings are the most comfortable pants. Most jeans (that aren’t totally baggy) seem to be cut for women without any curvature and leave a gaping opening at the waist. Try using a belt and you get accordion folds all around. That or they ride so low that your butt can pop right out if you dare bend over to pick up something.

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“And clearly you don’t have kids…because as a parent rules are required to maintain some semblance of order and safety in the house.”

Nope. We raised a boy and a girl with no “rules”. Just taught them how to make smart choices and asked them to “be good”. Made for some lengthy discussions. Lots of “Why?” and “How could you be sure?”, but never had to declare rules or laws. Both are now happy, funny, social, successful adults.

Clearly you need to rethink your questionable deduction and your blanket proclamation.

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Is your name Rodgers by any chance?

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Nope. I’m fine with calling them that everywhere.

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Really? You see anarchy as the alternative to not having to do the required public penance for a minor infraction of what may be an arbitrary rule… Seems like a bit of a false choice to me.

I can only add that the most interesting, valuable, thoughtful, creative and empathetic individuals I’ve encountered in my life have been the ones who were a bit rebellious in their teen years. It is the time that we are allotted to make stupid mistakes, to question authority, to push against the coming onslaught of soul-killing conformity that life is squeezing us toward with work and debt and obligations of all kinds.

And of course, parents need rules, and schools need rules. Can we just agree that they should make a bit of sense, and that there should be some method of changing them if they don’t work as planned, or are arbitrarily applied? “Because I said so” may work with a 6 year old, but it is unlikely to work well with a 16 year old.

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Really. So you never had one rule to follow. Never a brush your teeth before bead time, or use the bathroom so you don’t have an accident? Never told them No, don’t play with kitchen knives, or touch the stove when its hot, or don’t put your finger in an electrical outlet. Also you’re children never had chores? Like take out the trash before you go outside and play, finish your homework, eat a full meal if you want dessert. Right.

Providing rules and guidelines for your kids doesn’t make your household an totalitarian despotic nightmare. What it does it help children understand what civil and societal boundaries look like. For instance repeatedly telling your 6 year old to keep their hands to themselves and stop messing with his 13 year old sister. Because if he puts his hands on her, she gets to do it back…which means she’s going to hurt him and he won’t like it.

But here’s the deal…you can raise your kids however you want in your home. Rules, no rules, whatever.

But when they step out the door they better damn well follow the societal rules we have in place. They do not get to arbitrarily decide which ones they want to follow or not.

Because if YOU get to ignore the dress code at your school…the GUN NUT gets to ignore that whole background check law that he doesn’t agree with or accept.

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Never needed to make any rules. We just asked, and explained why. Rules are “because I said so” failures of a relationship. Try asking instead of decreeing. You might like the results.

And yes in society, they do “get to arbitrarily decide which ones they want to follow or not.” There may be consequences for breaking some of society’s rules, but those consequences may be worth suffering. Lucky for us people like Ghandi and MLK understood this.

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How, exactly, does one “earn” the right to wear a particular type of clothing on one’s legs?

Are all rules created equal? Are there no rules that deserve to be ignored or defied? If a student didn’t choose to go to a particular school, what kind of school rules is the student obligated to follow? All of them?

What if it’s a religious school and the child decides she’s an agnostic? If her parents force her to go to the school, is she obligated to join in prayer? What if it’s a public school and a friend loses her hair due to chemo therapy; is it okay for a girl to shave her head in solidarity, even though it violates the dress code? Or should her parents appear before the School Committee to beg their indulgence?

When it comes to public schools, so long as there are pointless, ridiculous, purely authoritarian rules like this “no-leggings” rule (and there are plenty more like them), then public schools will continue to be places that millions of kids every year will rightfully hate.

No thinking person has any kind of moral obligation to follow an involuntarily imposed, stupid rule .

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I don’t even…

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This presumes all rules are created equal. Certainly, we can agree that they’re not.

This presumes that mixed race couples in places where mixed race couples were illegal were, somehow, validating other individuals’ decision to ignore sensible, just laws.

This presumes that people who smoke pot in states where it’s illegal are validating the violation of gun laws.

This argument of yours is reflexively authoritarian nonsense.

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I’m glad you invoke both of them. In both cases these are individuals who didn’t ignore rules, they sought to change them.

I know, changing a rule or law is hard work. Far easier for people like you to just troll a reply thread over and over again.

You skipped the part where they disobeyed the rules first. Don’t be sneaky; it doesn’t work here.

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Exactly.

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Why have a sensible, case-by-case rule when you can just have a blanket ban on EVERYTHING, though? You don’t want administrators to have to use common sense. THAT WAY LIES MADNESS.

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