Originally published at: The brutally honest truth about NFTs, as explained by Cracked | Boing Boing
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Video link for the BBS:
Also relevant:
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I liked to describe NFTs as a price tag stuck to something you buy that you can’t peel off.
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Only it’s not really stuck to anything.
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once more let me pull out my working definitions for these “things”–
a cryptocurrency is like idling your car 24/7 could generate worked sudoku puzzles which can be traded for heroin.
an nft is a drawing on the back of your heroin sudoku.
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It’s a receipt. That’s really just all it is. It’s functionally only proof you spent money, not even what you spent money on because that’s ephemeral.
At least if you supposedly buy the rights to name a star or a square foot of real estate in Scotland so you can claim to be a lord you get a printed certificate.
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Roger is the hero we need, not the one we deserve.
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I didn’t realize Cracked was still making content. Pretty good stuff.
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It’s more like paying for the privilege of owning a price tag for something everyone else got for free.
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They’re all online now with lots of articles, podcasts and videos. Good stuff, too.
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That is fantastic. Probably the best NFT-related piece of art I’ve seen.
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Yeah, but I thought like 4 years ago they stopped making stuff and fired everyone. Like Cody went off to continue the show he did on his own, under Some More News.
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They’ve gone through a lot of editorial changes and lot of their content is from non-staff contributors, so it’s not what it was in its glory days, but Ryan Menezez and others are still putting out good stuff.
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Or rather the URL for a drawing, on the back of your heroin sudoku.
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It all sounds a bit like “Just give me the money and I’ll come back with the drugs” 
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“Art isn’t something you enjoy; it’s just another commodity we joylessly buy and sell in our latest attempt to trick capitalism’s moribund putt-putt engine into hacking up a few more shiny tokens at us.”
“What if we force scarcity onto this to trick people into thinking they can magically become millionaires by collecting Beanie Baby ghosts?”
Truly poetic.
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Related but much longer and less satire (don’t think I’ve seen it on BB yet)
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Most staff quit or was fired a few years back soon after Scripps Media took over. For quite a while after that there was a huge dip in quality with most of the content being user submitted shoops and listicles and such. It’s improved a lot since that rough period, but sadly it’s still not as good as it used to be.
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I think Keanu Reeves sort of covered this with a couple of words and some derisive laughter.
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