Lact Aid? What? They’re going to have a huge stadium concert to raise money for … cheese?
“Do they know it’s Cheesemas…”
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They could reroute the surplus milk supply to the states in a perpetual state of drought…has to be better than Brawndo, right?
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I think it sounds scarier to say that there’s almost a megaton of cheese in underground storage.
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Half-life or expiration date? Both work fine.
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i mean, we are talking about government cheese, after all. i’ll go with half-life.
any chance there’s a lovely wendsleydale in there? strategic reserve of double Glouster? no?
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Yes, it’s right… oh. The cat’s eaten it.
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A good friend of mine worked for several years in this cave system. He got a job with a company which had a government contract to turn big blocks of stored butter into wrapped 8 oz. bars of butter for the commodity program.
Day after day turning big hunks into little hunks and never seeing sunlight finally drove him to find something else to do.
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You also need about 10^14 (100 trillion) times as much cheese to match the current mass of the Moon. If you just want a ball of cheese the same size as the Moon instead of the same mass, you might be able to reduce that somewhat, but then the cheese-Moon tides won’t be as high.
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His career, I can’t believe it’s not butter! /s
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Now I think you’re just being silly
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Is 1.5 billion pounds in the caves enough to get cheese classified as a mineral for the purposes of local geology?
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1.5 billion. That’s 1500 megatons, right?
According to Copilot:
Blockquote
The B83 nuclear weapon is the largest in the current U.S. stockpile, with a yield of 1.2 megatons1. The total megatonnage of the entire arsenal is not publicly disclosed, but the U.S. maintains a stockpile of approximately 3,708 nuclear warheads, with about 1,770 warheads deployed and the rest held in reserve or awaiting dismantlement
So that cheese is surprisingly near the likely size of the entire ready-deployed US nuclear arsenal.
Perhaps a lot more if lactose intolerance is factored in . . .
Is there a secret weapon our leaders haven’t been telling us about?
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1.5 billion POUNDS. That’s 750,000 tons or 3/4 a megaton.
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Oh. So now you’re defending the conspirators? /s
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Tin foil hats come in all types.
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I was going by 2000 lbs in a short ton, which is roughly a metric tonne… (F’ing Imperial/American units.)
Hopefully they don;t bring in someone like Cave Johnson to weaponize the cheese.
(An Elon Musk prototype.)
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A decimal here or there. We live in a post- truth world. Don’t confuse my laboriously researched story by quoting math facts. Sheesh! /s
Mmm…I’ve never taken to specialty gourmet cheeses, such as those infused with basil or nuts or whatever. And those with zombies won’t be found on my shopping list.
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Maybe when it fossilizes.
300 million 5 pound blocks of cheese?
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