There's no back door that only works for good guys

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Sadly, there also seems to be no such thing as a politician who understands these things.

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There’s also no such thing as “good guys” when you are talking about spy networks that want access to your phone.

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If it asks for a backdoor, it is not a good guy.
When will they ever learn…?

Well, not if you’re going to pick an easy-to-guess password like “what’s the Elvish word for ‘friend?’” Those guys were just asking to have their city overrun by goblins. Not to mention the lackluster anti-trolling measures.

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Even better, even if you did have a magic backdoor that only works for ‘good guys’, that just means that subverting a ‘good guy’ is a meta-backdoor that renders the good-guy-only backdoor vulnerable to anyone.

And, as we all know, ‘good guys’ are never subverted by drug traffickers, The Daily Mail, basically any organized crime outfit with reasonably deep pockets and a pragmatic approach, and so on.

In practice, of course, the problem is likely to be even worse, since the magical-good-guy-backdoor will be something that needs to be accessible(and relatively quickly so) to ‘good guys’ on a local/regional level(since this backdoor is totally about helping your Norman-Rockwell-Issued local PD save children from pedophiles, not just an NSA toy), which means that you will have your choice of tens of thousands of targets to subvert, some of which will be pretty damn soft.

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