“Whenever he spoke to us, he never used our name”. There’s a an explanation for that that does not involved demeaning attitudes…not using a first name is actually more respectful…saying “Hi Kim,” rather than “Hi Ms. Brown” might be seen as a little over-familiar if you are addressing someone of the opposite sex.
The 1950’s called, they want their quaint naïveté back…
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I don’t believe jonathan colvin was saying HE does that, but that some other people might. So perhaps the phone call was not answered by the right person.
Interesting. As a child, I was taught how much of my success was due to accident of birth and the struggles of my ancestors. As a result, I never believed that the world was just. Despite setbacks due to things that were out of my control, I consider myself to be very fortunate.
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Possibly the most important thing I learned as a child is that life isn’t fair. It is wonderful and strange, but it is neither just nor fair.
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The quote says he didn’t address them by any name, not that he used their surnames. On top of that, I’m quite certain that gender-spcific written formalities beyond the use of Mr. or Ms. are all but extinct in American culture.
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Entirely possible, but sidelining via polite excuse is an entrenched defense of the patriarchy, and I’m sick of it. If @jonathan_colvin was being sarcastic, then I doubt they are offended; if not, then I hope they did feel a little sting. It sucks to be part of the problem, particularly so when you did not previously feel as such.
I say this in recognition that I’m part of the problem (work in progress.)
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This was hammered home to me in my childhood as well. As I’ve gotten older, I think I’ve decided to replace it with Life Is An Accident. Generations X and up were born into a species minutes to its midnight. I find that bogging myself down in the cosmic injustice of it all only distracts me from smashing the clock.
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Well put, it’s like Bruce Sterling’s “Stop acting dead” principle:
You might be alive 70, 80, 90 years. You’re going to be dead for hundreds of millions of years. Billions of years of saving water, billions of years of having a light carbon footprint. It was carbon sequestration. You’re full of carbon, they buried you.
So you need to do things that you can do while alive. Do things you can do while alive.
https://www.wired.com/2011/02/transcript-of-reboot-11-speech-by-bruce-sterling-25-6-2009/
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One recovering dumbshit to another, the best bet is not to universally STFU, but to ask better questions, and listen longer for answers in their full context. We’re all in this together!
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I regret using “STFU” (for brevity and attempted humour) rather than “listen”. 
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Isn’t gender bias kind of baked into the culture like racial bias? Even the minority/target of the bias participates. It is tough examining one’s own attitude and actions because the “normalcy” of misogyny makes it feel natural. It’s always hard to swim against the current.
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But we still have to try, right?
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Only those of us who actually want things to change.
Complacency is a helluva drug.
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Yes! Yes, we do.
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This ^ was the best advice I ever got from my dad. I made sure the daughters learned it early because school and work were going to present them with lots of examples.
My advice to the guys who notice sexism (or any -ism, really) is to speak up, speak out, and don’t let apathy or complacency keep you supporting it with your silence…
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