UK govt: no crypto back doors, just repeal the laws of mathematics

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“app vendors to build their products so that they automatically accept software updates, even when the user tries to block them.”

Sounds a bit like Windows 10, does it not?




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“A back door? Nonono,. that’s not what we’re asking for. Just…like…a window, but one big enough for a man to easily walk through. And you know what? Put some hinges on the side to we can open it like a…well…you know…”


That’s a sticky wicket for app developers.

No no there’s a simple solution. Just have strong crypto for good people, but make sure bad people have backdoors.


Ever is too strong a statement. All crypto can be broken by a brute force attack in finite time. Finite, but VERY long. As long as these clueless officials don’t specify a time limit, simply offer a brute force algorithm, and let them wait until it pops out the key. Not complicated.


Technically key escrow would not be a back door and would allow specific accounts to be decrypted on demand. Not saying it’s a good idea for a (nominally) free society, but it would fit the bill.

“just repeal the laws of mathematics”

I’m laughing my balls off over here!


This double speak reminds me of the acceptance speech our Dutch internal affairs minister Plasterk gave yesterday. He was awarded a big brother award for introducing a mass surveillance bill. I’ll translate: “Even when we do bulk, meaning large quantities, collection that should be done targeted.”

I don’t get it, when you are there, live, in front of an entire hall of people that care enough about privacy to pay money to see people talk about it, how come you think you can get away with dumb contradictions like that?


It’s not like there haven’t been attempts to legislate the laws of mathematics before. It’d be nice if people had moved beyond that in the last hundred years or so, though…


Yup. But apparently some folks are quite happy with the forced updates so go figure. Enjoy your blue screens, driver incompatibilities and endless restarts.

Oh yeah…Tories: bastards!

ROT-13 or XOR 255 should be good enough for anybody.

So Im not worried everything has Password1 as the password. No will think people actually use it so im completely safe.
Also in other good news in order to reduce emmissions all engines are going to be legally required to come with a maxwells demon built in.
And the shannon limits been revoked. That was just annoying.

Info and ethereal communication has no action in and of itself. It is in the action of individuals that claim breeches to person, data that is sought. It is an the action one does with these communication that is the spying part. Technically there are rules?


OK folks, nice work done here, see y’all later.

Not necessarily, for sufficiently long ciphertexts and keys. Under certain conditions.

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They don’t want to repeal the laws of mathematics, they merely seek to treat those laws as they do the laws against wars of aggression, or detention without charge, or torture

If I understand the UK government’s position correctly, it is that white hats (government agents investigating potential crimes) should be able to access encrypted information, while black hats (criminals) should not be able to access that encrypted information.

I want to access information off someone’s phone but it’s encrypted. Right now, I’m wearing a hat. I’m going to claim that it is a white hat, but you can’t see it over the Internet. Should I be granted access to the encrypted information from that phone? If I am truly a white hat, denying me that information may cost innocent people their lives. What’s your choice, Baroness Shields? Let me in through the backdoor or keep it locked tight against me?

Oh wait, never mind. I forgot that I received a spare key to the backdoor from a locksmith a little while ago; whatever my hat color and whether you want me to or not, I’m going to access that encrypted information. I bet you hope my hat is white …

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