Okay. Nor do I think you were - I find we generally are in agreement on gender issues around these parts, but I appreciate that. Maybe we’re both a bit disagreeable in the exchange.
Let’s call it a truce then.
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Phew! Disaster averted.
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No one knows for sure, but I’ve heard her Doc Marten’s never really touch the ground and that her farts sound like the opening piano chords to “Piss Factory.”
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I’ve heard @funruly owns a hot sauce factory in Newark and is planning on dressing up as Bojack Horseman for Halloween.
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Hey, now I actually kinda want to tour a hot sauce factory. Maybe steal some recipes.
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I heard @japhroaig is the shadow master at several distilleries around Speyside and the Highlands, with occasional long drunken jaunts to Islay. When the regulars go home at night, he uses his master key to get in the alleyway door and jiggle the handles to improve the run. They never know the difference, but the scotch just continually improves. It’s not altruistic, they say. He claims it’s a purely selfish pursuit.
You’ve also heard of “the angels’ share”? Well common scotch lore is that the barrels evaporate a portion over the long years of aging and they must be topped off to take up the headspace. Pshaw. Everyone knows those barrels are airtight. There is no such thing as the Angels’ share. @japhroaig is in there at night, drinkin it!
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Is naming himself after an Islay malt a cunning bit of misdirection, or did he get confused?
It happened as a result of a serious bout with the law after a very long cross country haul to get to his next stop. His lawyer, and driver, had to do some real fast brogue-ing to get them out of that bind.
There were underkilt searches, lots of swearing and shouting, and at one point a moldy haggis brandished as a bludgeoning weapon. After a near booking at the local jail, the three young arresting officers relented when a band of angry old men who’d been listening to their scanners showed up with half empty bottles of Bowmore and checkbooks, unleashing a tirade of unbelievable accuracy and technical knowledge of the production of scotch and @japhroaig’s pivotal role in the Kaizen of single malt, including a full family history, explication of his prior arrest record, a dredging of the bog, a signing of affidavits of understanding, as well as a sampling of his prior work; and so, he and his lawyer were released.
Thereafter, he was known as Japhro of Laphroaig. Which nobody can say because they’re derrrrrrrunk. So everyone just says @japhroaig.
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And it’s a good thing, that bog hadn’t been dredged properly in an age.
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My Scot friend said something to me the other day and I truly couldn’t understand him, so I replied, “What? I don’t understand Welsh.” He was going to pummel me with his fist.
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Wait, did you seriously think, after all the single malt discussions over the years, that people didn’t know where your screen name came from?
/shaking my head…young 'uns these days
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I accept your apology and compliment.
Wait, this isn’t the narcissist thread. Conversation back on track!
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Yeah, whatever, Jalisker.
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And this is what I get for starting at the top of a thread, but not finishing before I post.
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Jafiddich
Jowmore
Jenfarclas
Jullibardine
Jalvenie
Jaol Ila
Jighland Park
Jagavulin
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Lead flashing on the roofs of buildings. Obviously.
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Living without a bank account is a big issue everywhere in the developed world.
Don’t try to solve it the German way: Our banks made in 1995 a voluntary commitment to establish Jedermann-Konten (accounts for everyone). Worked exactly as good as expected.
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I thought roof flashing was aluminum, which doesn’t corrode significantly due to it’s almost instantaneous development of a passivation layer at the surface…
After googling lead flashing is still widely available in the US! OMG that’s stupid. Why use lead when aluminum isn’t poisonous, and a lot of plastics will do the same job for thousands to hundreds of thousands of years while being much more workable and probably even cheaper?!
